I know it's been about 2 weeks since my last entry here but, things have been busy and I have just not felt like writing. But, a dear friend told me what my small corner of the web means to her and it got me to thinking and thus, writing again.
I want to talk to you about honesty commitment and our reaction when the trust of a commitment is destroyed. I bring this subject to your attention today because the violation of the most personal and intimate trust happens more often than you might think; even today in our "enlightened" society.
A good friend of mine has a daughter who recently got married. She thought she had found true love and was finally allowed to marry and openly be true to herself and the woman she loved. The marriage happened and six months later, it's finished. Why? The spouse of my friend's daughter was "engaged" to another. Not only that but it turns out that the marriage to my friend's daughter was a sham from the beginning. Yes, my friends. The woman wanted medical coverage, a cell phone, car and insurance.
This was all discovered when a set of designer rings was found by my friend's daughter. When the entire story came out, she was told that she should not be "so trusting". Excuse me! I've been married 33 years this june 16th. That would not happen without trust. What this woman has done is an emotional rape of the worst kind. There is no other way to describe it.
Talking to my friend (mother of the abused party) my concern continues to grow because her daughter is ; in her attempt to be "strong", internalizing her hurt feelings and broken heart and engaging in behaviors which can jeopardize her career. This is where we get to the point of this blog entry.
When faced with this type of betrayal (it is not as uncommon as you may think), it is important to get the help you need so you may deal with the emotions that go along with this type of trauma. The problem with emotional trauma is that it can not be readily seen and thus is easy to ignore or minimize.
If the above relationship had resulted in violence and someone had ended up in the hospital, the injuries would be there for all to see. Since the wounds are emotional and psychological, they are not as easily recognizable to those not looking. Trust me, friends. I have some experience in this area.
My friend's daughter has had her heart ripped out. She will most likely take the advice to not trust so easily to her soul. Unfortunately, this may mean that it will be difficult for her to trust in others ever again. I can only hope that is not the outcome.
If it were up to me, I would wish for a special place in the afterlife for people who take advantage of the loving nature of some people. In the mean time, my advice is for my friend to take her daughter and a bottle of wine, cuddle under a blanket and encourage her to just cry it out. The emotional release will do her good. It's just one evening of ridding yourself of the baggage and poison that this relationship caused. After that, she can stand up, dust herself off and march forward with her life. No one need know that for one evening she wasn't a "Woman of the new century" It's OK to just be Momma's little girl who has suffered an unimaginable hurt and just needs her Momma to comfort her.
Just my opinion.
As Always...
No comments:
Post a Comment