Who's promoting racism now?

Let's get a few things straight before we even begin. I could care less about race. First of all; Race is a a term which was originally coined by anthropologists in order to categorize various cultures in "Scientific" study. As originally used, it had no bearing on anything but social constructs. So, the term "Racism" was not even mentioned. Second; I am Navy trained. To quote my Recruit Company Commander: "There is no race in the Navy. We are all HAZE GRAY!"  That concept may sound humorous to some and simplistic to others but there are very simple and practical applications  of this rule.

This "Haze Gray" rule becomes very clear in emergent situations such as combat or fire on board ships, at sea.  For those of you who have never been to sea and thus never experienced the "Joy" of a fire on the ship, I shall explain.

At sea there is no greater hazard to the ship or the lives of the Sailors who operate her. One can not simply "Call the fire Department." We, the crew, ARE the fire department. We must put the fire out. I have been on the business end of the fire hose, in a burning steel compartment. I can promise you that the last thing of concern to me was the color of the skin of the guy behind me. With today's Navy having women assigned as regular members of the ship's compliment, I can promise you that the gender of the person behind me would be of no concern either.

My concern is simple. Will that person reach into the fire, thus risking their life to save me if the need arises? That's all I care about. Character.

Moving along.

We are all familiar with the "unpleasantness" in Ferguson, MO. Certainly, I do not understand how rioting and looting will promote any cause. The rioting will not bring the dead back to life and if he was wrongly fired upon by police, no justice will be served by destroying the town and allowing the protests to expand to St. Louis.

I think it was absolutely wrong of the President of the United States to make any comments about the situation prior to the investigation and justice system running it's course. At this point, the issue has so polarized the public; I believe that if, in fact, wrongdoing is found and the police officer is brought to trial; the case should be dismissed. I do not know any place in the country that the officer, if indicted, could receive a fair trial.

Federal charges are also out of the question. With the President and the Attorney General making public statements regarding this case, a Federal jury would be hard pressed to be impartial.

So, what is left to discuss? Carpetbaggers! Seekers of opportunity who stir up trouble from the outside in the guise of "justice for the downtrodden." They stir up this unrest while they hold out their hands asking those who can least afford it for donations to THEIR cause.

These interlopers stir the pot of hate and mistrust to a frenzy and walk away smiling. All the while they try and quote Dr. King.

But, there is a problem. You see, I was 12 when Dr. King was killed. I remember the marches and I remember the riots. As an adult I always thought that if Dr. King were alive, he would have asked everyone to stop, go home, clean up and meet him at a Church. After a prayer service, he would lead a march. There would be speeches and maybe some little bit of change would come of all the hate and discontent.

I realize that the people who are rightly or wrongly upset in Ferguson, have a need to take some type of tangible action. but the destruction of their town is not a memorial to anyone and it's certainly not the way they will want to remember the summer of 2014, 20 years from now.

I remember what riots looked like. I remember seeing the 1967 riots in Newark, New Jersey. You see,  good people were swept up along with the "bad." I remember the scared look on the faces of the folks being thrown up against the walls of buildings by armed National Guard troops.  I don't think anyone needs or wants to go back to a scene like that. I know that I don't.

The answer doesn't lie with the words of division spouted by the famous and infamous who reside in the media and call themselves Reverend. Most of us see them for who they are. They are opportunists of the worst kind and they will also receive their just reward at another time.

Although we are not in Ferguson, MO. When you look at the news of the rioting, I would urge you to also go on YOUTUBE and look up "I have a dream."

You see, two of Dr. King's lessons were: 1. The death of ANYONE to violence is a tragedy. 2. Although you may feel that violence is the answer to a seemingly senseless death, the only way to prevent it's recurrence is through PEACE. .

That is Character.... He had a dream.

As always...

Suicide ain't painless....

The world lost an amazing talent yesterday when Robin Williams died in an apparent suicide.  I feel for his family and pray that they will get through this time of horrible grief with as little intrusion as possible. We live in an information hungry world and in the case of death, we have for some reason, an insatiable desire for information. Maybe that is part of our way of dealing with the unknowns of death. That conversation can be for another day. Today's topic is much closer at hand.

I want to talk to you all about mental illness.  When I heard the news of Mr. Williams' death, I was shocked and when I spoke of it aloud, someone in the room said "That's crazy." Well, yes it is. Suicide is not the act of a rational mind. it is the final desperate act of someone who is so ill that they are not thinking clearly and they believe that there is no reasonable alternative to stop the pain  caused by whatever internal struggle they are dealing with.

News reports of this particular death have focused on the fact that Mr. Williams  had a history of addiction. His past addictions are well documented. Further, reports have stated that the "Star" had financial issues and that the cancellation of his recent television program did not help.  It does no good to speculate as to what the cause of this final act was. The fact remains that we and most likely his family do not know exactly what was in his mind when he made that final decision and followed through with it. Except possibly, feelings of despair.

Now, a good many of you can say that with his resources, he could have sought professional help. He very well may have been in the midst of that exact help. The problem is, mental health is not always exact. Sometimes the caregiver is unable to tell that the patient has made a decision. Believe me, that provider is feeling the loss as if a member of his own family had died.

My personal opinion is that Robin Williams was a great talent and fine American. He gave us all hundreds of hours of laughter and tears. He donated his own time to entertain our troops overseas and supported the USO unfailingly. From all reports he was a loyal friend and a good husband and father.

So, what can we take from this tragedy? We must strive to find something positive in all things; what in this? It's simple.

Suicide is NOT painless (like the song says). It ends pain for the victim but intensifies pain for everyone who was touched by that life. Believe me, we all touch so many lives, we have no idea.

Of this, I know what I am speaking. When you are so deeply depressed that you contemplate ending your own life, you believe that it is the right thing to do. The decision seems logical and very clear.  I don't care how much education in the area of mental health you may have, you pay no attention to it.  This is were we as friends and family come in.

It is up to us to know what to look for. If you know someone who is depressed, guide them towards help before the condition worsens to the point of physical harm. Depression is an actual illness. It can be treated. I do not understand why mental/emotional disorders are still thought of with some sort of stigma. It's as if people believe if we do not talk about mental illness, it will quietly go away. We need to have this discussion.

Some 22 years ago, I was suicidal. Fortunately, my mother noticed through phone conversations that something was very wrong and convinced me to get help. If not for that help, I most likely would not be here today. I can look back now and say with conviction that the outcome of my premature death would have been the worst thing imaginable for not just me but, my family would have suffered a blow that they might not have recovered from.

Now, I look back at that time and I wonder how could I have even considered such a thing. You see, it is crazy. With treatment you can be helped. I just needed someone who cared about me to get me to seek help.

Now, I am not saying that Robin Williams just needed someone to help him. I don't know his situation. I do know that suicide is not the act of a rational mind. Leave it at that. This particular death gives us a good reason to begin the discussion.

If you are concerned about depression in yourself or others, there are resources available. Find them and use them. If all else fails, call a friend and tell them how you are feeling until you can get the professional help you might require.

If you know someone who is struggling with depression or some other mental illness, help them get help. If you can, be there for them.

Let's not let the tragedy of this death fade away out of the news cycle. Resolve to be a friend to someone in need. Help them if you can. I don't think it's to much to ask.

For Robin Williams, I wish you peace. I hope the demons have stopped. Rest well. For the Williams family, I pray that you can cope with this most difficult of deaths and move on with your lives.

As always...

Standing by your beliefs may be harder than you think...

We each have a set of principles which we use to guide our actions and decision making.  These principles can be a philosophy or set of "core values." Maybe you believe in a set of Devine rules like the 10 Commandments. These are just a few examples of the types of guides we, as civilized people, use to help us make decisions in our daily lives.

No matter what principles you live by, situations come up in life which are easy to reconcile with our particular beliefs. In those cases, no matter what you believe, I have no problem with you. My problem  occurs when your stated belief system interferes with your desires of the time. We all see this phenomenon every day.

Hypocrites are the most common type of "sinner" you find. They can be found every day, in every place. You don't like the rules of your belief system for some reason so, let's abandon it! Let's go find something that seems more trendy and "hip". There is always something else in vogue that will afford me the recognition I so dearly crave and rightly deserve.

I have an extended family member who, disliking the Catholic church and it's form of Christian worship, switched to the Southern Baptist Church in College. Fine. But, when that Church's rules conflicted with their desires, another change was in order and then another. Finally, it was back to home plate and the Catholic Church was happy to take my family member back.

But, as it is with people who believe in only themselves, this person soon became unhappy with the ways of the Catholic Church. Now it was time to put the Episcopal Church to the test.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with any of the Churches mentioned above. I have no issue with any faith besides my own. I have an issue with someone professing to believe in something when it's easy and abandoning those beliefs when the going gets difficult.

Are the doctrines we live by just words? I can read the Torah but, that doesn't make me Jewish. I can read the Koran and similarly, I have not become a Muslim. The words in these sacred books must be more than just words.

If you are a Christian, The words of the Bible mean more to you than just a written history.

In the past, I have spoken of the Core Values of the Department of the Navy. Honor, Courage and Commitment. I believe in those words. I fully understand their meaning and do my best to live by their spirit. To me, they are NOT just three lofty sounding words.

I discussing the problem of sexual assault in the military with an officer a couple of weeks ago. We agreed on two things. The reason it is such a problem in the military is because it is part of the culture. Worse yet, the Core Values of the services have become "just words." Yes, they are taught to everyone and refresher training is given but, the military culture does not hold everyone's feet to the fire and require that they live by those values and thus, they are just words.

So, those guiding principles have been, in many ways; abandoned.

In short, we wind up in the same situation as the person who jumps from one belief system to another. We wind up with a culture that believes in nothing at all.

My friends, don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. When it is difficult is when your beliefs need you most. Your opinion may not be popular but, it's yours and you will be respected for standing up.

By the way, my family member now professes to be Buddhist. I won't even get into that.

I hope my ramblings have given you something to think about or at least entertained you.

As always...

Just some thoughts about life in general.

Many people have a difficult time dealing with life on life's own terms. So, in view of recent events in my life and the life of friends and family, I sit, once again at the computer and put together my brand of wisdom. It's free to read and like any free advise; take it or leave it. My humble opinion.

It's nearly 6 in the morning and I have been up for several hours. I'm listening to some easy jazz piano as the rest of the house sleeps. It's looking to be a fairly decent day (for a Monday). Oh, wait! It is a wonderfully amazing day! Let's make a list:

1. I am alive. At 58 and nearly a month, I have outlived my older brother by more than a year! This is a good thing. Any time on this side of the dirt is "good," by any standard.

2. I have family that loves me including a beautiful granddaughter who lights up my heart at the mere thought of her. I make no secret that I love my 4 grown children but, there is a special place in the heart for grandchildren.

3. A second grandchild is soon to be born. Rumor has it that this will be a boy. I'm very happy for my daughter and her wonderful husband. I know that they are great parents and will do a fine job with this child as they have with their daughter. For me, I wish for 10 finger and 10 toes with everything else in the standard places, functioning within the accepted norms. I'm easy to please. My only job is to love and spoil the child.

4. I have pretty good health. With the help of the fine Doctors and Corpsmen at the Naval Hospital, who perform regular medical maintenance on this old Sailor, I should be around for a while longer. I can only hope.

Now, that's enough of a list. In no place on it did I mention the pursuit of wealth or approval from anyone else. We live a rather modest life here. The bills are paid and there is food on the table at meal time. From all reports, the food is better than average.  We have enough to share if someone we know develops a need. That meets our requirements.

The pursuit of unlimited wealth is a fruitless task and unhealthy at best. It is well established in history and in Biblical scripture that the "Love" of money is the root of all evil. We can look at history and see that it is so.

Recently, an high school acquaintance was indicted for securities fraud. The amounts of money this person stole we huge, almost beyond imagining. If his intellectual efforts had been pointed towards his honest labors, think how the outcome would have been changed. Certainly a possibility.

The Navy has been posting on Social Media that they want to know why people serve. Everyone has different reasons for serving their country. I never met anyone who did it for the money.

Another issue that has been on my mind is abusive relationships and how people react to them. Now, I am not going to pretend that I have all the answers but, I am going to give some general advice which has served my family and me well through the years: You do NOT need someone ELSE in your life to validate your worth.

This sounds simple but, in practice it becomes very difficult. We all develop attachments. Friends, Lovers, Spouses, Children. They are all sources of feedback and we like to get "Positive" feedback or affirmation. Praise is nice but not a requirement. Love is nice but if you are not getting it in the relationship you are in, get out and move on!

Interpersonal relationships are a two way street. There are two people in them and there has to be participation which benefits both parties. If you are doing all the giving and the other person is doing all the taking, there is a clear signal that this is not working.

You would be surprised who falls into this "neediness" trap. Someone who may appear strong and independent to the outside world turns to a bowl of jello when it comes to their life partner. This is a bad situation.  You have to learn to let go. A failed relationship is not a reflection of you. It's just a failed relationship. You can have many more. Some will fail. Some will be successful.  Relationships are like fresh fruit, if it is spoiled, you have to get rid of it before it contaminates the rest of the fridge.

Remember, everyone is worthwhile as long as they are honest and sincerely do their best at whatever they choose to do (within the civilized rules).  You don't need my approval or anyone else's.

Finally, I'd like to mention that there are those out there who sell themselves short. They work tirelessly to do for others and then say; "Well, I only do xxx." If you do something for others, you are a special person among the crowd which we call humanity. In this day, we are all worried about ourselves and we tend to forget that a life of service can be one of the most rewarding lives imaginable. I don't care if you send cards to deployed troops or feed the veterans at the VFW at the Friday fish fry. You are supporting those who sacrificed for you. BRAVO ZULU (Means Well Done in Navy Signals). We all serve others in so many ways, don't sell your contribution short.

Sometimes it can be something as small as a greeting  or a smile. Yesterday, a woman with three children and a full grocery cart spilled a package out of the cart. I picked it up for her. You would have thought that I had given her 20 dollars by her reaction. She was so thankful.

To me, it was a small act of kindness. Good manners. But, my small gesture meant a lot to the woman who just did not have enough hands to do everything she wanted to do at that moment.  You never know.

Well, that's it for today. I hope what I had to say made some sense. If not; chalk it up to the ramblings of an insane old Sailor. In any case, stay safe and remember: Happiness is a choice.

As Always...