Many people have a difficult time dealing with life on life's own terms. So, in view of recent events in my life and the life of friends and family, I sit, once again at the computer and put together my brand of wisdom. It's free to read and like any free advise; take it or leave it. My humble opinion.
It's nearly 6 in the morning and I have been up for several hours. I'm listening to some easy jazz piano as the rest of the house sleeps. It's looking to be a fairly decent day (for a Monday). Oh, wait! It is a wonderfully amazing day! Let's make a list:
1. I am alive. At 58 and nearly a month, I have outlived my older brother by more than a year! This is a good thing. Any time on this side of the dirt is "good," by any standard.
2. I have family that loves me including a beautiful granddaughter who lights up my heart at the mere thought of her. I make no secret that I love my 4 grown children but, there is a special place in the heart for grandchildren.
3. A second grandchild is soon to be born. Rumor has it that this will be a boy. I'm very happy for my daughter and her wonderful husband. I know that they are great parents and will do a fine job with this child as they have with their daughter. For me, I wish for 10 finger and 10 toes with everything else in the standard places, functioning within the accepted norms. I'm easy to please. My only job is to love and spoil the child.
4. I have pretty good health. With the help of the fine Doctors and Corpsmen at the Naval Hospital, who perform regular medical maintenance on this old Sailor, I should be around for a while longer. I can only hope.
Now, that's enough of a list. In no place on it did I mention the pursuit of wealth or approval from anyone else. We live a rather modest life here. The bills are paid and there is food on the table at meal time. From all reports, the food is better than average. We have enough to share if someone we know develops a need. That meets our requirements.
The pursuit of unlimited wealth is a fruitless task and unhealthy at best. It is well established in history and in Biblical scripture that the "Love" of money is the root of all evil. We can look at history and see that it is so.
Recently, an high school acquaintance was indicted for securities fraud. The amounts of money this person stole we huge, almost beyond imagining. If his intellectual efforts had been pointed towards his honest labors, think how the outcome would have been changed. Certainly a possibility.
The Navy has been posting on Social Media that they want to know why people serve. Everyone has different reasons for serving their country. I never met anyone who did it for the money.
Another issue that has been on my mind is abusive relationships and how people react to them. Now, I am not going to pretend that I have all the answers but, I am going to give some general advice which has served my family and me well through the years: You do NOT need someone ELSE in your life to validate your worth.
This sounds simple but, in practice it becomes very difficult. We all develop attachments. Friends, Lovers, Spouses, Children. They are all sources of feedback and we like to get "Positive" feedback or affirmation. Praise is nice but not a requirement. Love is nice but if you are not getting it in the relationship you are in, get out and move on!
Interpersonal relationships are a two way street. There are two people in them and there has to be participation which benefits both parties. If you are doing all the giving and the other person is doing all the taking, there is a clear signal that this is not working.
You would be surprised who falls into this "neediness" trap. Someone who may appear strong and independent to the outside world turns to a bowl of jello when it comes to their life partner. This is a bad situation. You have to learn to let go. A failed relationship is not a reflection of you. It's just a failed relationship. You can have many more. Some will fail. Some will be successful. Relationships are like fresh fruit, if it is spoiled, you have to get rid of it before it contaminates the rest of the fridge.
Remember, everyone is worthwhile as long as they are honest and sincerely do their best at whatever they choose to do (within the civilized rules). You don't need my approval or anyone else's.
Finally, I'd like to mention that there are those out there who sell themselves short. They work tirelessly to do for others and then say; "Well, I only do xxx." If you do something for others, you are a special person among the crowd which we call humanity. In this day, we are all worried about ourselves and we tend to forget that a life of service can be one of the most rewarding lives imaginable. I don't care if you send cards to deployed troops or feed the veterans at the VFW at the Friday fish fry. You are supporting those who sacrificed for you. BRAVO ZULU (Means Well Done in Navy Signals). We all serve others in so many ways, don't sell your contribution short.
Sometimes it can be something as small as a greeting or a smile. Yesterday, a woman with three children and a full grocery cart spilled a package out of the cart. I picked it up for her. You would have thought that I had given her 20 dollars by her reaction. She was so thankful.
To me, it was a small act of kindness. Good manners. But, my small gesture meant a lot to the woman who just did not have enough hands to do everything she wanted to do at that moment. You never know.
Well, that's it for today. I hope what I had to say made some sense. If not; chalk it up to the ramblings of an insane old Sailor. In any case, stay safe and remember: Happiness is a choice.
As Always...
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