Guns do not cause HATE.

This is not a Gun/Anti-Gun control blog entry. Let's get that straight from the start.  I'd like to take a moment to talk about the senseless killings in Charleston, SC this past week.

A 21 year old white male entered a church, prayed with those inside and after some time, got up and proceeded to kill.  All the victims were non-white.

First, let me say that my heart goes out to the families of the innocent victims who perished. In a larger sense, we are all victims of this crime. This was not a crime of gun control. It was a crime of ignorance and racism. This crime was fueled by irrational hatred; plain and simple. So, let's examine how that happens.

Irrational hatred like racism is LEARNED behavior.  Children, while young do not even notice race. They have no concept of racial difference. I lived all over the world with my wife and children. The military is truly a melting pot. There are families from all racial backgrounds. My children were friends with all of the other children. None of them were identified by race.

In my home, all are welcome. I ask that you refrain from smoking in the house. Otherwise, speak your mind as long as it is not hostile or hate filled. If you feel a need to voice hostility or hate, may I suggest a mental health professional?

Hate is learned. Children learn it from adults. It may start out simply and innocently enough. A joke here and there can't hurt, right? Well, maybe not. You never know what children will pick up on. But, even the best intentions for our children can not protect them from hearing hate.

Children are not under our watch 24/7. They attend schools. They play together in parks. Not all parents share your values of trying to live "hate free." We don't live in laboratories after all.

Now we come to the big question. How do we, as a society, stop this irrational hate and racism? The answer can be stated simply  but it is much harder to put into practice.

Look at my question carefully. "How do we, as a society, stop this irrational hate and racism?"

The answer to the problem lies within the question itself. We, as a society must decide that we will no longer tolerate the teaching of hate and racism. We need to take the bigots and put them out of business.

People of all races who espouse hate are the ones who cause incidents like we saw this week. Groups like the KKK and so called "leaders" who live on the fear and misery of the downtrodden and and uneducated are the causes of tragedies like last week's shooting.

These so called leaders love to blame others for all the problems of society. They rarely accomplish anything but create greater divides in society. They love to point out our differences instead of celebrating our commonality.

Each January, we take a day and remember Dr. King. During his lifetime, the civil rights movement made great strides towards equality in race relations in America. I'm afraid that since the good doctor's death, the civil rights cause has moved backwards further than anyone would have imagined.

We live in the 21st century. I think it's high time that we began to act like the advanced civilized beings we hold ourselves up to be. Irrational hate and racism had no place in our society 160 years ago and it certainly has no place now.

We, as a civilization must stop tolerating this.  I live in city where I am the minority. I honestly don't care. I take people as they come to me. If they treat me with courtesy and respect, I return the same. Otherwise, I just can't be bothered.

So, I've spoken my mind. It's just my humble opinion. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

As always...

What I've learned in a month.

As many of you know, the month of May was a difficult one for my family and me. Now, we are quickly moving into the summer months and the middle of June will be here before we know it. In the intervening period between family tragedy and today's tranquil Sunday morning, I've had lots of time to think. You all know my attitude about thinking to much. It's dangerous.

I've been thinking about what is truly important in this life. I can only speak for myself, however; I'm told that I am pretty smart and have been around the block once or twice. With all of that in mind, I will, with your kind permission share what I have learned (or relearned) in the past month.

Things are just that. Things. they have no value except what we, in our own mind place upon them. Although having nice things is pleasant, we do not need them. If you are defining your happiness by the things you surround yourself with, it may be time to reevaluate. Possessions can always be taken away.

I grew up with lots of "Things." But, I felt alone and afraid for most of my childhood and much of my youth. Being afraid of everything is a horrible way to live. It's a terrible secret. Our society does not reward fear. Certainly there was no help in the Navy for a young Sailor who was afraid of his own shadow. So, what to do?

The answer to the big what to do question is a simple one. Fake it! I faked it. For many years, I went about my daily chores, performed my duties made friends and had relationships as a person I was not. I pretended to be confident. I probably came off as arrogant and over confident. Arrogant.

There were very few people with whom I could let my guard down. Finally, something changed. I became so depressed that I contemplated the unthinkable. My mom picked up on the fact that something was wrong and made me promise to get help. Well, we all know that you can't break a promise to your mother. I got help.

After a nearly career ending stay in the hospital, I was better and learned to take life on life's own terms. But, more importantly, I stopped TRYING to get people to like me. I began to just be myself. I set a new goal. I was just going to be happy.

I had long told people that YOU must be the most important person in your life. If you are that important person, you will then be able to be useful and helpful to others around you. But you must take care of yourself first. I finally started to take my own advice.

Once I did this, I found that I could not only do better at work, I was much better with my family. I became a better husband and father. Then it was time for the next lesson.

The most important lesson came simply. When my dear mother got sick and died, that was the end of my parents and I came face to face with the idea that my generation was next. I was now part of the "Elder" generation. How would I handle this?

Once again, life is full of simple answers. Family and relationships. For me, these are what matter the most. I am fine with myself so, I can concentrate on family and friends. We do not walk alone.

I am not speaking in the Spiritual sense.  We spend our time in this life touching other lives. We must make a choice. There are three ways we can go.

1. Isolation. Live your life cut off from the rest of the world. Become an enigma. Have little or no effect on the world around you or the people in it.

2. Be a negative influence. Choose to be negative. Live only for your own ego. Cut and slash and burn all around you. Tear people down to make yourself look and feel good. Have lots of aquaintences but no real FRIENDS. Blow your own horn, you are the only one listening.

3. Be a positive influence. Coose to be happy. Spread that happiness around you. Place your ego's needs last. Be humble. You would be surprised how rewarding a little humility is. Live a modest life. You would be amazed how less stressful your life can become when you stop trying to keep up with the people down the street. Be true to yourself.

It seems to me that the choice is simple. I want to be in the number 3 catagory. It's easier to write about it than it is to live it but, life is a work in progress.  Don't be afraid to fail.

In the Navy, 4.0 was the minimum standard. They told us that it was the goal to shoot for but, in reality, if you were not 4.0 you were "less than." You were marked as a failure. The military, because of the nature of it's business has got a "Pass/Fail" mindset.

But, the important thing to remember is: Life is not "Pass/Fail". We are allowed to make mistakes and we get lots of "Do Overs." The goal is to be happy!

With all of this, what have I learned in the past month? Life, my friends, is short. It is an amazing GIFT which can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Do not take it for granted.

Do your very best  but realize that you may fail. Also realize you may just wind up in the middle of the pack. Someone has to come in second or even third. There is no shame in that, as long as you did the very best you could.

You can't change the past The past is done. There is nothing you can do about it and you probably couldn't change it even if you could go back and try. Let the past go.

You can't make life choices for others. If someone you care about has made a choice which hurts you, you have to let it go. Just let it go. That's the end of the story.

An example of my last little rule is my older sister. For some unknown reason, she chose to cut my family and me out of her life, completely. She had done this with my brothers Mickey and Phil so, I shouldn't have been surprised when she did it to us. It was a matter of time.

For a long time, this bothered me. I adored my older sister. I tried to figure out why she would do such a thing. I came to no conclusion. But, with the passing of my brother Phil I discovered that you really can't make life decisions for other people. All you can do is accept those decisions as part of life and move along.

My wife, children and grandchildren are what is most important. FAMILY! It continues long after we are gone. Friends continue after we have departed. I would rather be missed by a few than forgotten by thousands. If I can be a positive entity in your life and maybe make you smile occasionally, I've succeeded.

Well, that's what I've been thinking about. I know it may be a little rambling but that's what I get for thinking.

As always...

Double standards have just got to stop!

This morning I was skimming through Facebook and came across a story which peeked my interest. A young girl in school was wearing a long dress with a halter top. The top of the dress (pictured above) left the girl's shoulders and back bare. Folks, I am the father of two women which means they were once young girls. I have a small granddaughter. I am conservative in my beliefs but, I find nothing wrong with this young woman's attire!

She was told that her clothing caused a "sexual distraction" for the male students. Eventually, she was sent home. I take issue with this attitude on many levels.

I would like to say at the outset that I believe that this is an appropriate topic for discussion on Memorial Day since Freedom is why those we remember today died.

On to my reasons for ire of this school's policy.

1. Is the school concerned that the girl will be attacked by some sex starved young male? I find this hard to believe. I would think that rather than this young woman's clothing being a sexual distraction to any male student, the problem lies firmly in the office of the administrator who took action against the student. The Vice Principle was sending a clear message to the parent of this young woman and the woman herself that she does not approve of the clothing (or could it be the body art which is so prominently on display?). Either way, as a parent I would be insulted. The student in question was indeed exercising her right of free expression.

As for the sexual component. In a note to the Vice Principle, the student pointed out that if her attire was in fact a "sexual" distraction to the male students, should not action be taken to teach those male students self control? On Target, young lady! Exactly the correct point.

Males can wear almost anything they want and it is considered just fine. If a woman shows a little skin or wears "to much" make-up, all of a sudden she is a sexual distraction? It's no wonder sexual assault is such a huge problem in society.

Have we gone back to the 1980's when rapists could get off at trial because the poor victim was dress provocatively?

How about we teach these "sexually distracted" males a little self control and maybe some consequences. Some good old fashioned manners would be a good place to start. I'll teach the class. FOR FREE!

Just let one "distracted" male make a comment or gesture in my presence. Let me hear about it. I can promise you, it will be the last time he will be "sexually distracted" for a very long time.

I have always maintained that people should be able to wear whatever they feel comfortable wearing. It is up to the rest of us to deal with it. We, as  civilized people adjust to new styles of dress. It's that simple. There's nothing new about a halter top, by the way.

I found this young woman's dress to be completely appropriate for the activity in which she was engaged. Because an administrator decided to exercise power is no reason to stifle a student's right to dress as she pleases.

Some reading this may argue that there may be a dress code. Dress codes in the public schools have been routinely found by the courts to be unconstitutional.

It is my hope that young women continue to push the boundaries to assert their rights.  Those who died for our freedoms; remembered this day, would expect no less.

As always...

Memorial Day 2015

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in service of the United States of America. Over two dozen cities and towns claim to be the birthplace of Memorial Day. While Waterloo N.Y. was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966, it’s difficult to prove conclusively the origins of the day.

Regardless of the exact date or location of its origins, one thing is clear – Memorial Day was borne out of the Civil War and a desire to honor our dead.**

Over the years, this very special holiday has become a day of family and cook-outs. A very fitting way to celebrate and remember those who have made the supreme sacrifice for their fellow citizen's freedom. We must always remember that it is because of the sacrifices of just a small few that we remain free today.

Today, there are many more Veterans than in years past. The "Peace Dividend" that we were supposed to see with the ending of the "Cold War" has yet to come to fruition. This is exactly why Memorial Day is so very important in this age.

By it's very nature, military service is dangerous. It matters not which branch one has served in, death lays in wait not far away. The Nation is still embroiled in armed conflicts around the world. There is, despite our best intentions, no real end in sight. Until mankind learns to solve it's differences in a civilized manner, the ranks of those we remember and honor during Memorial Day will continue to swell.

The saddest part of the conflicts we seem to be embroiled in today is that they are about ideology. Which spiritual belief is more PEACEFUL! How ironic that after thousands of years, man continues to kill his fellows over which God is true. All while they chant that they act in the name of peace.

I am well acquainted, as are most of you; with those who have died in the service of our great nation. Their commitment to the idea of America can never be overstated. 

I wish you all a relaxing and happy day with your families. Enjoy the spirited conversation, the fine food and fun. Remember who paid to make it all possible. 

As always...

**From WWW.MemorialDay.org

Don't take life's gifts for granted.

Followers of my Facebook page will already know of the passing of my younger brother, Phil. At 54 years old, we can all agree that he was to young to die.

It would seem that he had undiagnosed diabetes and after developing a wound to his foot, as often happens to diabetics; the wound developed an infection and Phil became septic. after almost 2 weeks in the hospital he succumbed to the massive infection. My younger brother leaves behind a beautiful 14 year old daughter.

A tragic story indeed. But, is that the real story? I submit that the reasons for my brother's premature passing go much deeper than a systemic infection. My brother, like so many others; took life for granted. The gifts he had been given were taken at simply face value and so he did not take care of himself thus, taking care of those gifts.

You see, we are all diminished by the premature death of family and friends when that death can easily be prevented. My brother did not take care of his health and we, the survivors are left to pick up the pieces and clean up the mess.

His passing is difficult for all of his friends and family but it will be most difficult for his young daughter. At 14, she is at the age where she really needs her father's guidance most. Instead, all she will have are memories and a space where her Dad should have been.

You can see by the picture that my brother had a great smile. To go with that smile, he had a quick sense of humor and a sharp intellect.   He taught himself to play guitar and was in a band. He loved history and would read constantly. His coworkers were amazed at the voluminous knowledge Phil seemed to have on nearly every subject. he was a product of our father's household. We were told to learn as much about everything as possible. 

I will miss my brother. 

But, I have said many times that everything is a training opportunity. This tragic death is no exception. Phil died because he did not pay attention to his health. We all must constantly pay attention to our health. Make a good faith effort to follow the common sense instructions of our doctors. Eat a healthier diet. Include lots of green leafy veggies in that diet.

For goodness sake, don't wait until you are laid out on the floor, unable to move before you go to a doctor. All this advice seems silly. It's all common sense. But, if my brother had followed these simple rules he most likely would be alive today. That is the shame of it.

This death was entirely preventable. I can say this with authority because I too am diabetic. I control my blood sugar and check it several times a day. I visit the doctor as request. I've learned some innovative ways to cook vegetables and they are very good!

So, the training lesson for today is simple. Don't take life for granted. Cherish it. Take good care of it.

Phil rests now. I know we will meet again.

As always...

Pure of heart.

******I will do my best not to make generalized statements in the following********

Bruce Jenner, whom I remember as an Olympian rather than a "Kardashian"; had his interview in which he "came out" as Transgendered, air this past Friday. Now, I don't really care what Bruce does, as long as it doesn't hurt someone else so, that's my opinion about that issue. However, I was rather surprised when, during the interview he stated that his political leanings were more conservative than liberal. That statement, rather than the gender identification garnered the hate responses on social media. 

I have friends who are "liberal" and other who are "conservative". I consider myself well versed in political affairs and hold no grudge against anyone who has a position which doesn't agree with my own. That is, after all; our right as Americans.  However, I do feel a need to speak up when views are expressed which are hateful or degrading.

I thought the Democratic mantra was one of inclusion and caring for all. After all, they tout themselves as the protector of everyone and everything. It seems, from social media posts that the liberals will "have your back" only as far as your politics agree with theirs. 

On my Facebook page, I found the comments of one, usually level headed Democrat, to be down right offensive! Trust me. I'm a Sailor. It's really hard to offend me. I guess it wasn't what this person was saying but the fact that he had shown himself to be such a huge hypocrite.  However, if he saw the same hypocrisy in a Republican, you can be sure that a snide and sarcastic comment would be quick to spring forth.

Another comment that stuck out in my memory was found on "Instagram". This protector of the people's rights stated that he had all the sympathy in the world for Mr. Jenner until he revealed that he was a conservative. 

People who voice opinions of intolerance for opposing ideas in the name of liberalism don't even realize what they are doing. By refusing to even listen to other points of view, they limit ideas and intellectual growth. In fact, they are standing to destroy the very thing that they propose to protect. 

Rather than be shocked that Bruce has conservative political leanings, I am more saddened by the fact that at 65 years old, he is only now able to take the steps necessary for his own happiness. In all the comments I read, no one made that observation. Imagine how miserable this person must have felt for so many years, living a lie; all in the name of "not wanting to disappoint anyone."

Liberal or Conservative, Democrat or Republican, Libertarian, Green or whatever label you place on yourself politically, some thought before you speak or write might be useful. Hateful comments or statements in the name of a political position only contributes to the strife which seems pervasive in this country. Everyone is looking for a reason to hate or dislike anyone whom they perceive as in some way different. 

What do you value? What are YOUR values? They are yours alone. If you are going to broadcast them, you should attempt to live up to them.

If I were to meet Bruce, I'd say "Good for you. I hope you find the happiness you seek." I wouldn't mention his politics. They are not relevant to the conversation.

By the way, I have friends whom I disagree with regularly. We discuss our opinions and learn from each other. There is no intolerance involved. Imagine that.

As always. 

The Case of Robert Bowdrie "Bowe" Bergdahl

This member of the United States Army has been formally charged with violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice Art. 86: Desertion. In addition to the charge of violation of UCMJ Art. 99: Misbehavior before the Enemy.

In order to fully understand the gravity of these charges, one must understand the UCMJ without the media hype that is present when the talking heads report the news. First, let's look at the two relevant articles of the law.

UCMJ Article 86: Desertion.

“(a) Any member of the armed forces who—

• (1) without authority goes or remains absent from his unit, organization, or place of duty with intent to remain away therefrom permanently;

• (2) quits his unit, organization, or place of duty with intent to avoid hazardous duty or to shirk important service;  

I have quoted only the relevant portions of the code. It should be noted that Desertion, in this case does not carry the death penalty since as a matter of law, The United States was not in a state of war at the time of the alleged offense.

UCMJ Article 99: Misbehavior before the enemy.

“Any member of the armed forces who before or in the presence of the enemy—

(1) runs away;

(2) shamefully abandons, surrenders, or delivers up any command, unit, place, or military property which it is his duty to defend;

(3) through disobedience, neglect, or intentional misconduct endangers the safety of any such command, unit, place, or military property;

(4) casts away his arms or ammunition;

(5) is guilty of cowardly conduct;

(6) quits his place of duty to plunder or pillage;

(7) causes false alarms in any command, unit, or place under control of the armed forces;

(8) willfully fails to do his utmost to encounter, engage, capture, or destroy any enemy troops, combatants, vessels, aircraft, or any other thing, which it is his duty so to encounter, engage, capture, or destroy; or

(9) does not afford all practicable relief and assistance to any troops, combatants, vessels, or aircraft of the armed forces belonging to the United States or their allies when engaged in battle; shall be punished by death or such other punishment as a court-martial may direct.”

I don't know how many sections of this article Bergdahl will be charged with in the specifications of his Courts-Martial however, it would seem from news reports that he could be charged with most of them.

There will be a formal Article 32 hearing this summer at Fort Hood, TX. This proceeding is similar to a preliminary hearing in the civilian world. The specific charges and specifications will be read out and made public. Certainly, Bergdahl is in a world of trouble.

Now, those are the facts as we know them and the law which applies, so far. It's time for my opinion. There is absolutely no reason to go UA (Unauthorized Absence) or desert in the modern U. S. Military. No one conscripted any member of the force. The Navy and Marine Corps does not send out "Press Gangs" to force (press) unwitting drunks into service. Since 1973, that's 42 years folks; the United States Military has been fully all volunteer.

Prior to actually taking the oath of enlistment, everyone is fully briefed on the facts of life in the military. Namely, that you may be asked to enter combat and fight an armed enemy who is indeed trying to end your life. You still have a chance to back out.

All during training, the idea of fighting is reenforced. In the case of Bergdahl, we were already embroiled in the conflict in Afghanistan and he knew or should have known that there was an excellent chance that he would be sent there in some sort of combat role.

He told his squad/platoon mates that he was going to desert. He actively looked for the enemy. Although he may have started as a prisoner until he gained the trust of his captors, he intended to remain with them and there is photographic evidence of this.  In this regard, he has a large hill to climb to disprove the government's evidence based only on what has been made public. I'm sure the government has more that we have not seen.

Finally and most damning. 6 American servicemen gave their lives to find Bergdahl! His brothers in arms gave their lives in an attempt to save him. They performed their duty with honor and distinction. Nothing will ever bring them back.

The government of the United States traded high ranking terrorists to secure the return of a person who at best, disgraced his uniform. At worst he is a deserter and escapes the firing squad only due to a technicality in the law.

Some have said that Bergdahl has suffered enough. I disagree.  He has not suffered nearly enough to compensate the families of those who lost their lives searching for him. He has not suffered enough to compensate his Unit and the United States Army for the loss of faith he has caused them to suffer. He has not suffered enough to compensate the people of the United States who placed a sacred trust in him when he took the oath of enlistment. He was trusted to safeguard all of us!

He has the gall to wear the uniform of a Sergeant in the U. S. Army. Even wearing a Private's uniform, he is a disgrace.

I will watch the case with interest as it unfolds. I do not hold out much hope that he will receive more than a slap on the hand as long as the current political climate prevails in Washington, DC.

Take a moment to remember all of our men and women who serve in uniform, in harm's way today. They honor each of us with their truly honorable service.

As always...  

*Please note that in this article I did not use Bergdahl's awarded rank. To call him a Sergeant wold insult everyone who has ever held the rank of NCO/Petty Officer in the U. S. Military.