Happy Labor Day Weekend!!

Today would have been my older brother's 59th Birthday. Happy Birthday, Mickey.

It's Labor Day weekend. The scene above will be replayed over and over, throughout the country. Overseas, wherever Americans reside, Barbecue in the back yard is a holiday tradition. Go outside in late afternoon in your neighborhood and you will smell the aroma of burning charcoal.

I like the convienence of a gas grill. Turn a valve and push a button and with a satisfying "WOOSH", the flames are lit and you are off to the races, cooking. But, for taste, nothing beats the tried and true Webber style grill. These black orbs hold ample amounts of charcoal briquets  and are large enough to cook anything, including a holiday turkey. Charcoal grills are truly monuments to the American Suburban Household.

There's something primal about cooking on open flame. I'm sure my psychologist sisters can tell me all about the primal reasons for our love of outdoor cooking. I could even make educated guesses as to why we all enjoy it so much. But, I'll just say, we do enjoy it at our house. Living in the Mid-Atlantic region of the country, the weather is mild enough to cook on open flames nearly year round.

This weekend, the family gatherings will run the gambit from small 1 person hibachi grills, cooking that  lone steak for the perpetual lone wolf of the family. (There's one anti-social member in every family). All the way to full blown family reunions where you will meet relatives whom you have not seen since your days in diapers. They won't be shy in reminding you of this fact either. Many a conversation will begin with the phrase: "The last time I saw you, you were only this big". The older relative will seem surprised that after 35 years, you are now 6'4" and standing without assistance.

I remember one holiday where I had gone back to New Jersey to visit my brothers and we went to one of Mickey's friend's homes. I knew this person when I was 10 years old and he seemed surprised that I was a grown man, serving in the Navy. I thought he would have a stroke when I mentioned that I was married and had children too.

But, I digress.

What will your holiday meal be? Steak? Leg of lamb with all the trimmings? Some of you will probably make a traditional slow cooked hunk-o-meat (Pork Shoulder or Beef Brisket come to mind). Home made salads will be lovingly prepared and the cold drinks are even now chilling in the fridge. Weather it's a simple or complex affair, I'm sure a good time will be had by all.

At our house, we keep Labor Day grilling simple. Hot dogs on the grill (slightly charred, of course) and some home made potato salad is just fine with me. There will be some deserts and I will probably have a cold beer with Tim, my youngest son. Heaven on earth.

We will remember two things. Those who are not with us any longer like Mom and my brother Mickey. Especially on holidays, we raise our glasses and toast those brave men and women who are serving all of us, in harm's way. Our Military. Weather it be Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force or Coast Guard. We remember you and make a special effort to show it on Holidays.

Friends, I've had fun talking about our holiday celebrations and family. But please, don't forget those folks who are deployed and their families. They sacrifice so that we may be free.

I hope you all have a safe and happy Labor day.

Social Media: Waste of time? I think NOT!

We hear today a constant flood of criticism that "Social Media" is a waste of time. I've been thinking about this (Oh NO! There I go thinking again. When will I learn?). I'm not sure that Social Media in and of itself is a waste of time or do the critics mean to say "the abuse" of Social Media wastes time?

When my children were growing up, I tried to instill in them the idea that anything had the potential to be bad for you, if abused.  If a little is good, more is not better.

We all understand the value of a touch of seasoning in our food but, there is a fine line between well seasoned and over seasoned. 

Face it, Social Media is here to stay. So is the personal computer in one form or another.  Call it a tablet or a Smart Phone, electronic devices to keep us connected will be here forever and their form will only get smaller and to many, more convienient.

The computers of our age bear little resemblance to the computers of "my day". When I was a youngster, the average "mainframe" computer took up entire floors of buildings. Some took up multiple floors. Computers of that age were difficult to operate and impractical for anyone other than institutions to utilize. Folks, the cell phone that you have in your pocket (or maybe you are reading this on your phone and it's in your hand) has more computing power than the computers that first landed on the moon with Apollo 11 in 1969. I'm not talking just a little bit of computing power either. I'm talking HUNDREDS of times more. The Lunar Module had 2 UYK-20 computers. Folks, I used these same computers in the Navy. they had 64K RAM.  That's essentially nothing by comparison to today's cell phones. We won't even talk about home computers with their gigantic memories.

All this convenient computing power gives way to communications freedom. We stay connected via Social Media. Nearly all of us today say we have friends all over the country or world.That's because of Social Media. In some cases, these friends are just a number but, to the mature individual, the friends on their particular media of choice are indeed real. You may not have met them all face-to-face but that does not change the social connection you feel to them. We have similar interests with our cyber friends just as we do our "real" friends. We talk to our friends on line, just like "real" friends.

I have friends on line whom I have never met in real life but I can tell you that I am just as close to them as if they lived on my street. I would help them in any way I could. Don't shake your head. You all have cyber friends that you would help too.

The point of all this is simple. Social Media is not the problem. It is the tool we use today to expand our world. It can enhance our world. Through Social Media, I have made friends with people whom I would have otherwise never met. They are wonderful folks who enhance my life every day. I have been able to reconnect with old friends whom I thought were lost to the routine of life, never to be seen again. I found them on-line. They are fine and it's wonderful to catch up with them and renew friendships, long thought defunct.

Sure, many employers will say that they feel Social Media detracts from worker productivity, cutting into profits. Maybe Facebook has no place at work. I hear "Candy Crush" is an addictive game. My wife and kids play games like Candy Crush all the time. It's relaxing I'm told. I prefer to read.  Lately, I've been writing and posting what I write on the internet. Is that a bad thing? Nope. Everything in moderation.

Social media is not the problem. If someone you know is spending to much time on their social media page, here's an idea. Bring them a cup of good coffee (or other beverage), and engage them in face to face conversation. It used to happen all the time. In my life, it still does. I have a list of friends from Maine to California; Texas to Alaska whom I would love to have come over for coffee. I hope to see them one day. You never know.

In the mean time, I'll keep using my social media. It's great!

Happiness is a warm Puppy

Wow! Two posts to the Blog in one day. This is either something to celebrate or worry about. I prefer to think of it as an example of why this Blog is named as it is. My son is taking a snooze. There is nothing on TV that interests me at the moment and my shoulder hurts so badly that it is difficult to concentrate on reading. All of these things happening at once means I've been thinking; a dangerous activity.

One of my absolute favorite cartoons ( in the newspaper not TV) was "Peanuts" by the late Charles M. Shultz. He was a modern Philosopher and artist all rolled up in one package. What was inspiring then (the mid 1960's) was that through his work, even young children could understand a message. Peanuts was about friendship, loyalty, heroism and success. Even Charlie Brown had a chance to kick that football. He probably would have if not for Lucy. But in the end, the gang were all friends and stuck by each other.

Mr. Shultz is gone now. He died very shortly after ending Peanuts. But, Charlie Brown, Snoopy and the gang live on. That is the wonder of Peanuts: it stands the test of time.

There are many truisms when reading Peanuts. One that is particularly strong with me is pictured above. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a DOG person. I will tolerate cats in other people's homes. I just don't like them for myself. I have a friend who had a cat that was cool. It was the only one I ever saw that I liked. I am firmly a member of team "Dog".

Our family did not have a dog until I was about 12. My father would not allow any 4 legged creature in his house or near him in those days. When my parents were divorced my mother got a miniature schnauzer. She refered to getting the dog as her first act of defiance.

As an adult, I did not get a dog for my family until after I retired from the Navy. I think it was the fall of 1999 that we got Buttons.

Buttons was a Cocker Spaniel mix and I can honestly say she was a wonderful dog. She was given to us by a friend who needed to find homes for some puppies.  She called me and I asked my wife. Even today, my wife will tell you that I made this "little boy, pleading" face. She says it was so cute, I couldn't be refused. I believe that I did indeed make the face because, let's face it; I really wanted a dog. All through my time in the service, we moved around and it just didn't seem practical for our family to own a dog. so, once given the chance to have what I was denied as a kid, I jumped at the chance. 

The puppy was picked up and I fell in love with her. She was very small, just a ball of fur really. But, she was just a little ball of love and fun. I stayed up with her for 2 months, house training her. I must say, the devotion to her training paid off. She never had an accident after her training. She was a wonderful dog. The most amazing thing about Buttons was that I loved her and she loved me right back. She would look up at me with those big brown doggie eyes and you would swear that she was saying that she loved me. She loved everyone in the family, but she really loved me. It was agreed that Buttons was the family dog, but she was really my puppy. 

After Buttons was all trained, it was like having another child in the house. My wife and I used to joke that we should have had puppies long ago. They are so much easier than children and they don't talk back.

Another advantage to having a dog was unplanned. Our oldest son has special needs. Autism is a broad term and I can tell you from experience, it has a broad set of symptoms. But, that's for another posting. Perhaps, after we all get to know each other better I will tell you more about my son. For now, I can tell you that Buttons was the greatest thing ever to happen to that little boy's life.

My son would spend hours playing with the puppy. In the house. In the back yard. It didn't matter. One of the funniest sights I ever saw as this little black and white dog (she weighted less than 35 pounds) running on a leash and a grown boy running down the street, holding on for dear life;  trying to keep up. Who was walking whom? 

Have you ever watch "The Flintstones"? Who remembers what would happen when Fred would come home and Dino the dinosaur would greet him? That's what would happen every day when my son came home from school. Buttons would know it was nearly time for Bobbert to get home and he would wait by the back door for his Buddy. Bobbert would enter and Buttons would start to bark and jump as if saying : "Play with me! Play with me! I've waited like a good girl all day for you to get home. Now it's time to PLAY!" My son would rush into the living room and lay on the floor. This little dog would pin him down and start licking his face. She was just enraptured with Bobbert. All this time, Bobbert is laughing and smiling. After a few minutes of this, it was time for walks and Bobbert would take her out. 

My son loved what he would come to call "The Dino Maneuver" 

As happens, Buttons got old and with advancing age came health problems. My puppy died last year. She waited for me to get home after my bypass surgery (Cardiac not Gastric). We all miss her. On days like today, when I have time to think in the quiet, I miss her more. 

We have another dog. Mindy is a black Lab mix. Mix of what, we are not sure. She is not nearly as smart as Buttons was but, she's a good dog. I look around and she is not in the living room. She is probably on my bed. I have to break her of that habit. 

Although we have Mindy, it's not the same as Buttons. Mindy is my youngest daughter's dog. I just don't have the same emotional connection with her that I had with Buttons. Don't get me wrong. It's wonderful having a dog in the house and I am glad we have Mindy. I just miss my little Buttons.

Mr. Shultz was right. Happiness is a warm puppy. Thanks Charlie Brown.

Life isn't instant!

I started my day today with a session of Physical Therapy. I go to the Naval Hospital 3 times a week for therapy to treat my "frozen" shoulder. No one can tell me exactly why it became "frozen" but, it is. It seems the best treatment is Physical Therapy.

As usual, the staff at the clinic are very nice to me. I am greeted with smiles by the nice lady at reception. When I check in at the desk in the exercise treatment room, the same smiles greet me. I begin my session with 6 minutes on the arm bike. This is not to difficult at first. 3 minutes forward, followed by 3 minutes in reverse. It's the 3 minutes in reverse that always get me the most. Goodness! This is serious pain. It's a deep sharp pain, deep in the joint. If you can avoid it, I recommend doing so.  This is not fun. If I was not awake before, I am now. But, with pain medications coursing through my system, I plod ahead.

Eventually, my treatment session moves from warm ups to manual manipulation of my shoulder. This is where some real pain has occurred. Since the goal of this evolution is not to further injur the joint, the Corpsmen are very sensitive to my reactions to their manipulations. The Petty Officer works carefully and eventually says that I see to have made some progress. I thank him and comment that all things in life take time. The Corpsmen remarks that although that is true,  it would be nice if things in life moved along faster. I just smiled.

When we are young, we wish that life would progress more quickly. As children, we couldn't wait to be just a little older. We want to be just old enough to go to the movies without Mom. We can't wait to be old enough to drive. 

Most girls can't wait to be able to wear make-up or high heels. Boys can't wait to shave. In short, we all want life to move along faster.

Like good barbecue, worthwhile things in life, take time. More than 30 years ago, my future wife and I sat in front of the Chaplain at a Naval Training Center in Florida. We were there to talk about getting married. The Chaplain told us that, although he could see we seemed to love each other, real love, a lasting love will grow and take time. But, he told us, if we worked at  growing our relationship and lived up to the commitment of marriage, later in life, we would be rewarded. 

That Chaplain was right. With commitment and hard work, 32 years later, we are sill married. We tell each other that we love the other several times a day. Life can be good, but not instant.

Like the recovery of my shoulder, worthwhile things take time. Don't be in such a rush. Before you know it, you will have reached your goals and will wonder where the time has gone.  Patience is a virtue. Life isn't instant. 

By the way: I still may complain that my shoulder and arm hurt.

Occasionally, events in life are of such import that they cause me to pause. During these pauses in the hustle and bustle of daily life, I think. Hence, the name of this blog. It IS indeed dangerous to think. I warn my readers to strap yourselves in and prepare for some rough seas. I am going to say some things that in many circles in our society may step on toes. I am not going to be politically correct. In fact, I will most likely be blunt. With all that said, I quote Jackie Gleason; And away we go!

Last week, I read a news story about a retired United States Navy, First Class Petty Officer (Cryptologic Technician) who was convicted of espionage when he attempted to sell highly classified information to the Russian Federation. No folks, it is not 1980, it is indeed 2013 and things like this do happen. The story of the former Navy member's reprehensible conduct upset me beyond words.  I served as a Cryptologic Technician while in the Navy. Frankly friends, I was disgusted that this criminal was associated with the Navy I love. 

Moving right along. Today, I was at the Naval Hospital for my physical therapy. While there, I was engaged in conversation with a woman who told me that her job is to give Sexual Assault Awareness training to members of the Department of the Navy in this area. This was interesting to me. So, we talked.  This conversation was both interesting and informative. As it turns out, she told me that I do "get it" and it's to bad more "old salts" didn't have my attitude. Well, I'm one happy Sailor at this point.

The final piece of the puzzle which brings my pen to paper was another news story. This one involved a Commanding Officer of a Navy Aircraft Squadron. It was reported that after a preliminary investigation, this Commander had been relieved for having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a member of his command.

OK Folks! My head has exploded. This was the end of the line for me. What has happened to our society? Where do people get the idea that it is OK to do these things. I will not accept this in the military or in the Civilian sector of society. It's time that we speak out. That is what I am doing here. Speaking out! It may not have much of an effect on society as a whole but, I will feel better. Maybe someone will see this and pass it on to someone with a louder voice than mine.

I will talk specifically about the sexual behavior as it is a symptom of the larger problem. For around a year, I have been reading stories from the Navy stating that the problem of sexual assault has grown to epidemic proportions within the military. The Chain-of-Command, from the Chief of Naval Operations on down has stated that their number 1 goal is to put a stop to Sexual Assault in the Navy.

The goal of putting a stop to this horrible crime is laudable. I hear of all sorts of training and classes being taught to combat the problem. As usual, the government is trying to put a band-aid on a bullet wound. It is a fundamental principle of leadership that in order to correct behavior, the leader must understand the cause of the misconduct and fix that cause.

As I see it, the assaults we see in the service are a consequence of lack of discipline. With this comes a lack of respect. There is a lack of self-respect by the aggressors, a lack of respect of the individual victims and worse yet, an institutional lack of respect for all hands.

While at the Hospital last week, a young Petty Officer was leaning against a counter in his service uniform with his hands in his pockets as he had a conversation with a subordinate. The slovenly wearing of the uniform seems to be accepted since I notice it is wide spread. Shoes in need of polish and personnel in need of haircuts are just small symptoms of an undisciplined force.

You may ask why I speak of seemingly trivial issues when talking about somthing so large as Sexual Assault. Simply put; if our Sailors and Marines are made to look and act as Sailors and Marines, they will rise to the occasion. It is a fact that people rise and fall with the expectations placed upon them.

Leadership starts from the top. We can no longer accept leaders who skate by with the excuse that their transgressions are personal and have nothing to do with the performance of their duties. Commands must create a culture of LIVING our Core values of Honor, Courage and Commitment. Take the core values off the walls and become the living embodiment of those values.

Every member of our society has the responsibility to say something if they see a wrong. By letting it go, we accept it. Everyone is entitled to RESPECT. Stand up and demand it. If it is not forthcoming, find someone who will correct the situation, regardless of the consequences.

Men need to stop referring to women as "Females". Calling a woman a Female dehumanizes her. Of course, once she is dehumanized; it becomes easy to behave disrespectfully. In our military, women are routinely referred to as females. Let's put a stop to that. Treat these fine women with the respect they deserve.

Nearly a year ago, I nearly died. The Doctor who diagnosed my cardiac issues was a woman. 99 percent of her team are women also. I would be hard pressed to find a better group of medical professionals any place in the world. I have nothing but respect for these fine professionals.

By the way, these same women wear the uniform of the UNITED STATES NAVY. They are my sisters in arms. I will gladly fight by their side. Say the word.

The first post. or (I hope I don't screw this up!)

Yes. That's me. Call me Bob. That's what most people call me. I go through my day to day routine and see things and want to comment but really don't have a place to do so that I felt was appropriate. I've been reading and hearing more and more about this pass time of "Blogging", so I decided to check into it a little and finally made the decision to leap into cyber-space and try my hand (or fingers in this case) at blogging. What the heck! I like to write so, I've got nothing to loose. If no one reads this, I can always take it down.

After deciding to start a blog, the next thing to do would be to decide what to write. So, for this first post, I've decided to keep it light and just tell you happy cyber readers a little about myself. I'm married for 32 years. Yes my friends, to the same woman. It doesn't count if you get divorced and remarry. You have to start counting all over again. I have 4 children. 2 girls and 2 boys. My oldest daughter is married to one of the best men I have ever known and they have a beautiful daughter. My Granddaughter is everything in the world and more. My other 3 children, although grown, still reside at home with us.  I'm sure that as this blog moves forward, you will all hear more about "the kids". Oh, we also have a dog. I can't forget Mindy or I will not be forgiven by the 2 legged members of the family.

My life might be considered a little interesting. I attended a Naval Military School in New Jersey as a child and continued up through High School. After that I enjoyed a career in the United States Navy. My work was interesting. I can't really talk much about that. I was able to travel the world. Thanks to the Navy, I have been to more places in this world then I can count and have many wonderful memories of most of them.

So, between formal education and life experiences, I've got a pretty well rounded set of experiences. I hope you all will enjoy reading my observations and ideas and are moved to comment. I enjoy comments and will read all with interest.