If we can "force march" our children, let's bring back the whip!

Well, I've been reading the news again. This is a dangerous activity for me. When I read the news, I start to think. When I think, I get kind of angry at the just downright dumb things people do.

Today's news story winner is: Tammy Holland. The principle of Manchester Elementary School, located just outside of Fayetteville, NC.

The problem was simple. Several children failed to wear their school uniforms on the last day of the school year. Did Ms. Holland gather the offending children in the office or auditorium and notify parents? Did she direct teachers to give the offending children an incomplete for the final day? Did she just shrug her shoulders and say; "Oh well, it's the last day of school. Kids will be kids." ?

No! Not our heroic educator and molder of young minds. She allowed her ego to take over and decided to "think outside of the box", WAY, WAY outside of the box. She directed that the offending children be taken to the school's dirt track and be forced to trudge around outside, in the heat, without water until a parent either produced a uniform or picked their child up. Wow! They are serious down in North Carolina. Is forced marching in the school district handbook?

During this "punishment march" the temperatures  climbed beyond the high 70's and humidity made the temperature seem worse. But, staff was forbidden to administer hydration to the children .

When the one parent who was quoted in the news story was contacted by the school, she was neither told of the emergent nature of the situation or the urgency required in getting to school.

The superintendent of the school district has said that "IF" there is an issue, it will be addressed.

In this day and age of political correctness and "fairness" to all, how can a school administrator think that this solution was the correct action to take? All of this because of a uniform infraction which was a miscommunication to begin with.

If there is an issue was the question. I think it is fairly obvious that there is an issue with Ms. Holland.  After this incident, I would not trust her with the safety of a goldfish! Forget about any child.

Heat illness are life threatening. Anyone working at any task outside in heat and humidity needs to stay hydrated. The human body goes from well regulated to overheated and shut down in a matter of minutes! Children are very susceptible to this type of injury. Yes, even children know to stay hydrated. Who remembers drinking water from the nearest garden hose as a child? I sure do.

One day last week, my wife was working on one of her projects outside in the heat and failed to stay hydrated. She suffered horrible cramps and nausea. Not to mention nearly debilitating headaches. It took 2 days before she was feeling like herself again.

I hope Ms. Holland is removed as principle of the school in question and is not put in charge of children in any other school.

For the rest of us, stay hydrated. If you are outside, bring a water bottle and use it.  Better to drink a little water (Not soda) and remain healthy than risk overheating and winding up in the hospital, or worse.

As always...

Dear Abby...

First of all...Happy Father's Day to all those Dads, Granddads and those posing as "Dad". I hope you all enjoy your day.

Now, on to the subject at hand. I read with interest a "Dear Abby" column this morning from a woman who's mother-in-law watches her children "free" of charge but always asks her to bring a pack of cigarettes over. The young mother doesn't like doing this and wanted a way to tell her mother-in-law how she felt.

"Abby" advised the woman to look on the American Lung Association web site and research the ill effects of second hand smoke on children and then use that as a reason to not buy the cigarettes. Abby, your advice is usually good but, in this case it's not quite on the mark.

Having been a smoker for 40+ years and now a non-smoker, I can tell you that the only way to get someone you care about to quit is to be straight up and honest with them. Our letter writer need not find an excuse such as her children's health to avoid buying cigarettes. She need only say: "Mom, I have nothing but love for you and do so greatly appreciate you watching the children for me. However, your smoking is not healthy for you or any of us. I know you want to see the children grow and become adults and for those and many other reasons, I will no longer enable your smoking habit.

For the cost of a pack of cigarettes, you can get a bouquet of fresh flowers at Walmart or a convenience store. Bring her the flowers instead. The house will smell better and they look nice too.

The letter writer said that her mother-in-law had been trying to quit for years. This action would help her by making it inconvenient for her to smoke.

Of course, there is always the open heart surgery option for quitting. It worked for me. But, it doesn't work for everyone.

I guess my point is simple: If there is someone in your life you would like to quit smoking, tell them! Don't make excuses. None are necessary.

For all my friends who still smoke: I wish you would quit. But, if you continue I will remain right by your side, as I always have been. I know, when the time is right for YOU, it will happen. But, I won't be bringing a pack of smokes over to your house for you.

As Always...

70 years later...Why we fight remains the same.

In the predawn stillness of the French coast, the English Channel erupted into a hell on earth, the likes of which had never been seen before. The invasion of Europe had begun and the end of the beginning (as Winston Churchill referred to it) started.

That was 70 years ago today. Tens of thousands of allied fighting men would give their lives on this fateful day in 1944. They all knew the risk and they did their duty, not for themselves but rather to preserve freedom throughout the continent of Europe and thus the world.

The operation was called "Overlord". Today, that name is common knowledge but 70 years ago, few people knew what it meant. General Eisenhower called this day the "Day of days." He would stake his reputation on the success or failure of the landings and waited for reports from beaches called "Juno, Sword, Utah, Omaha, Home and Gold. These were the names of the beaches were the troops came ashore. A place called Normandy.

The plan was not foolproof and victory was far from assured but, the allies had done their best to anticipate every contingency in their attempt to break through Hitler's "Fortress Europe". Truly, the outcome of the war would hang in the balance on this day.

The allies fought to restore justice and freedom to the Continent of Europe and from there; the rest of the world. The war in the Pacific would still have to be won but the defeat of Germany would come first.

In the end, our way of life is preserved and 5 generations have been born since that fateful day, 70 years ago.  We see our children grow in happiness and prosperity as they raise children of their very own because of the sacrifice of those brave men of Operation Overlord. They fought so our way of life could continue.

Many years ago, I was just a teenager watching a movie about a WWII Admiral and my mother walked in the room. She stopped and watched for a few minutes. Turning to me, she had a tear in her eye and said "He was a great Admiral. Let's hope we never need one like him again." That sentiment still holds true today.

To call those WWII Veterans "The Greatest Generation" just doesn't seem to be enough. But, it will have to do.

To all of our WWII veterans, especially those who stormed the beaches of Normandy 70 years ago today, a special prayer of thanks on this "Day of days."

As always...

Let's look at a real hero.

In an effort to stay away from politics, I've slowed down my blog. However, recent events in the National news drive me to sit at the computer and share some thoughts about the subject of Prisoners of War.

Recently, a certain United States Army Sergeant was released from captivity in Afghanistan.  He was reported to be the ONLY United States Prisoner in that theater of operations. His release was immediately hailed as a victory for the United States and our cause to defeat the Taliban. Having survived years of captivity, the Sergeant was hailed, a HERO!

As the days passed and the news cycle chugged along, stories began to circulate that the media's newest hero was not quite what he seemed.  Questionable "twitter" posts were deleted but still made it into the media and stories about this soldier began to surface from members of his own squad/platoon which called the character of our "hero" into question.

It would seem that rather than being hailed as a hero, many believe that he needs to be prosecuted as a traitor to America. Now, Treason is a very strong word and as a crime in the United States, it is very specific. If the stories of desertion while deployed in an Hostile Fire zone are true, the very serious charge of Desertion (Article 85; UCMJ) may be brought. Under the circumstances, the penalty can be as grave as death or such other punishment as a Courts Martial may direct.

I mention all of this because I do not believe any of it will happen. In the political climate that this country now enjoys, it has been said that the Soldier involved has had enough of a harrowing experience that he and his family should not "suffer" any more. As this is my blog, I get to voice my opinion. This is in fact the wrong attitude. Members of the Uniformed Services of the United States are held to a higher standard than civilians. Many civilians do not understand that standard. This is exactly why civilians do not sit in judgement at a general courts-martial.

If the Sergeant did in fact desert his post, an investigation in accordance with the Uniformed Code of Military Justice should be undertaken to determine the facts. Furthermore, if while a "captive" if this same service member did not comport himself to the best of his ability with the Code of Conduct for Prisoners of War, that too is cause for discipline. Only by appropriate investigation by proper authority, free of political pressure can the people of this country maintain faith in our government and it's armed forces.

Above, you will find a picture of a hero of mine. Vice Admiral James B. Stockdale, USN (RET) (1923-2005). You may notice the Medial of Honor the Admiral wears. He received it for his conduct while the Senior Prisoner of War in Vietnam. One of his most noteworthy acts was that he beat his head and face against a stone wall just before he was to be filmed for propaganda pictures. This action, together with his leadership of the other prisoners helped convince his captors that they could not use the Americans for propaganda and conditions improved.

As a 19 year old Seaman, on my first ship; in 1976, I met Admiral Stockdale when he visited our ship in Holly Loch, Scotland. He addressed the entire crew through the ship's TV system and told us some of what had gone on while he was a prisoner. Admiral Stockdale was a modest and soft spoken man who when he spoke and a conviction in his voice which told all of us that he was absolutely convinced of the "rightness" of what he was doing, both when he was a prisoner and then, inspiring  Sailors to always do their duty first, last and always.

It's been 38 years since the day I got to shake the hand of an honest to goodness American Hero. I remember it like it was yesterday. I imagine I always will.

In view of the stories about America's latest POW, I thought you would might like to hear the story of how one Sailor met the challenge of combat and capture. Certainly, no stories of desertion or collaboration surround his name.

Read more about VADM James Bond Stockdale via Google.

As Always...

Unconditional Love still has consequences...

Whether our children are 3 or 30, we always love them. We just might not like what they do. As the parent of adult children, you have the right to take umbrage with what your adult child does, especially when they do something really dumb.

Be prepared when you bring their idiotic choices to the table of conversation. You will be met with hostility, anger and finally the guilt card will be played. "If you loved me..." or "Maybe, if you supported me when I was younger, I wouldn't be in the situation today."

Phrases such as those are designed for two things. 1. To deflect responsibility for their own actions/choices. 2. Create guilt in the parent. Children, especially adult children are very good at doing both. All you can do as a parent is smile and nod. Tell them you are sorry they feel that way and move on. After all, the child in question is no longer 3.

One day, several years ago, my oldest stormed into my house, came barging into my bedroom and began shouting at me. There was no preamble or greeting of any sort. Just hollering. My reaction to hollering is simple. No one gets to holler at me. (Well, maybe my wife but, no one else.) Therefore, I ignore the noise and carry on. When my daughter had finished yelling, I asked if she was indeed finished and told her that she should feel free to leave. "Come back when you can act as an adult." Was the phrase I used.

My daughter was shocked . She never thought I would invite her to leave my home. She did after all, have a place of her own so, why not? As her parting shot she announced that she was no longer my "little girl."

She tore out of the house and her car threw up dirt as she spun her wheels leaving the yard. Guess what. A week later, this woman who said she didn't need me came over and needed my help. Of course, I helped her.

Now, several years later, my daughter still calls me nearly daily. I guess she grew up.

I have friends who's children have done really bad things and the parents have had to tell them the hard facts. The adult children don't like to hear the hard facts. No one likes to hear that they have screwed up or that they are screwing up their lives or worse, the lives of their Spouse and children. But, as a parent, we have a responsibility to be honest with our children, even when they are chronologically adults.

When you are honest in the extreme situation with the offending "child", they don't like it and things can get ugly. Finally they ask: "Why are you doing this to ME?" I recommend at that point, simply remind the person that you are not doing anything. What they are experiencing at this moment are the consequences of their own actions and choices.

So, when your child gets hurtful, remember, at some point you have to force them to face the consequences of their actions and choices. Eventually the bill does come due for everyone. It doesn't mean you don't continue to love that child who is now an adult. You make them face life because you do love them. That's your only job.

Oh, after the confrontation is done, a stiff shot of vodka or other adult beverage is authorized. Give me a call, I'll join you.

As Always...

To smoke or not to smoke...

The question seems simple enough: To Smoke or NOT to Smoke. We all know that it is bad for us health wise yet, millions of Americans still consume tobacco products to the detriment of their health.  Unfortunately, the habit is also to the detriment of the health of everyone around the smoker too.

Before I go any further, let me say that if you are a smoker and you want to continue, that's your business. I am just going to pass along some information and my own experience as a former smoker of 44 years.

I am not going to try and "Scare you straight" with horror stories of former smokers who have died horrible deaths. I won't even post the picture of me in the ICU of the Naval Hospital after open heart surgery. I'm sure you all know about the risks associated with smoking. I was and I chose to ignore them.

But, one day about 10 days after my heart surgery, my surgeon, came to check on me. He was concerned because there had been some major post-operative complications with my case.  Please not that I said this was some 10 days after the surgery. I was originally scheduled to go home 3 days post-op. I asked the doctor if the complications were due to my smoking. He told me that they most likely were. Folks, I had nearly died. Not fun. I scared my wife and children, not to mention many of my friends.

The way I quit after so many years was kind of frightening. The cardiologist was very blunt as she was threading a catheter through my cardiac arteries. She said I needed to quit smoking or I was going to die! She wasn't saying this in a frightening voice. She was very matter-of-fact. Clinical.

When I got back to my hospital room, I told my wife to go home and throw away all my cigarettes. She laughed at me and told me that she already had gotten rid of them.

There are complications to open heart surgery. One of them is damage to vocal function. Well, guess which complication I got. The day after I got home from the hospital, my voice disappeared. I was unable to speak clearly. As it turns out, I have now got a paralyzed vocal cord. Several surgeries later, my voice is stronger but, I have to go to speech therapy regularly to learn the correct way to talk and swallow. All due to my choice to smoke.

I am not complaining. I made the choice. I was warned more times than I can count and I still persisted in smoking. So, this is the price I pay. At least I am still alive to talk about it.

My son is the only one left in my family who still smokes. I hate it. I can't stand the smell and the idea that he would continue to smoke after watching what I went through just baffles me. But, that is his choice.  I got him e-cigarettes for Christmas; at his request. He says he lost them. OK, that's fine. Again, that's his choice. I just read an article that e-cigarettes are not an effective stop smoking tool anyway.

I honestly believe that the best tool for smoking cession is right between your ears. Your brain. If you are a smoker, wanting to quit, you need to get your head in the right place. You have to be ready to honestly quit. If not, it won't work.

I do know that when you are ready to quit, there are a lot of resources out there to help you achieve your goal. It's not easy. A habit of decades will not go away in just a week or a month.  It will take a commitment like none before. I promise that.

Under my circumstances, it was easy to quit. I was scared out of my mind. The prospect of open-heart surgery is daunting to say the least. The doctor's clinical pronouncement really got my attention and from that moment on, I have not had the idea of smoking ever again.

I can smell a smoker from 15 feet away now. I avoid the smell. My food tastes better and I find it easier to do many things. I hope that I didn't wait to long to quit and I can avoid further health problems due to smoking.

Finally, just one other point. When I started smoking, some time around 1969, Cigarettes cost around 25 cents a pack (more or less). Now, with all the taxes etc. a pack of Salem (my brand of choice) cost $ 7.58 (minimum legal price in NJ). $ 2,774.28 if you budget only 1 pack a day. I know that I can find lots of better uses for nearly 3 thousand dollars in a year.

As always...

If I didn't read it, I wouldn't believe it...(or Stupid News)...

I enjoy reading my news. I read all sorts of things: Politics, National News, International happenings and "Human Interest" stories. Sometimes, I run across news stories that seem so stupid that it's hard to believe that they could even be thought of, forget true. I'm sure you have all seen stories that fit this category and have thought that there is little hope for the species if these people are the future, forget about our culture. With this all in mind, I have picked a couple of the best for your enjoyment or horror. It depends on your point of view. Just remember what the comedian says: "You can't fix Stupid."

Our first story begins with a young "Lady" who doesn't know that people other than her friends read the Social Media page "Facebook." It seems that back in February, this young woman of 21 years had been contacted by her probation officer and told to report for a breathalyzer examination. This was in accordance with the terms of the woman's probation. (She was on probation for a DUI offense.) Our heroine reported to her probation officer and had the breathalyzer test administered. She passed and was sent on her way.

Upon returning home, she accessed her personal Facebook page and updated her status. (I paraphrase here as I can't write in the non-english language she used.) "What a buzzkill. Had to go to probation and get breathalyzer (sic). Thank goodness I passed cuz I was out getting wasted last night." Unfortunately, for this flower of American Womanhood,  a law enforcement officer saw the post. (You really should know who you "friend" on Social Media.) As was his duty to do, he reported his discovery to probation. The woman was contacted by her probation officer who, was not pleased at all with the probationer's reported conduct and was told to report immediately for a urinalysis.

Our offender decided that the best way to handle this new development in her legal entanglements was to HANG UP on her probation officer. Now, I have never been on probation but, I do know people who have been. From what they tell me and what I can deduce from other sources; probation officers don't take to kindly to being hung up on. Our alleged offender has a court appearance today. I find it ironic that it's April Fools day.

Stupid News, Part 2.

My youngest son hates the gym "Planet Fitness." I've asked him why and he won't give me a specific answer. I use this establishment and find no fault but, to be fair; I'm an old, fat Sailor and no one will ever accuse me of being a poster boy for physical fitness. I exercise to keep my blood sugar down and my heart working, per doctor's orders. Perhaps this next story is an example as to why my son dislikes this particular organization.

A recent news photo showed an attractive woman in exercise clothing with a caption: "Woman asked to leave Planet Fitness for being too fit."

Excuse me? Isn't that the goal? Planet Fitness defends this policy by saying that the woman's fitness level might offend less fit members. You've got to be kidding me! From my point of view, I would be asking this woman what she did to get and stay so wonderfully fit and would she become my exercise buddy? Planet Fitness should hire her as a spokesperson to show what regular attendance at their facilities can achieve!

I understand that this gym has a policy of not making the less fit feel bad when compared to the more fit but, this is just a stupid situation that should never have happened. As a result of this, I will be canceling my Planet Fitness membership when the year is up (June or July, I think) and joining another "Health Club". It's worth the money in my book not to enrich a company that carries a well meaning policy to extremes. There are plenty of gyms out there. I'll pick one.

Stupid News, Part 3.

Finally, we come to the dumbest and most concerning of all the stupid news stories of late. A 5 year old in an undisclosed Orlando, FL elementary school was prevented from Praying before eating her lunch. She told her parents that she was told by the "lunch teacher" that praying was "bad." When the child tried to pray a second time, she was stopped by the same teacher.  When asked by the parents about this, the school principle stated that he had looked into the incident and no one on the staff remembers ever telling any child that they could not pray at lunch time. (Big surprise.)

Just a reminder for all those who need it. The Constitution prohibits the establishment of a religion by the Government. It doesn't mandate the absence of any religion. Furthermore: the First Amendment guarantees that the "Free exercise" of religion shall not be prohibited. Although the school may be prohibited from promoting a prayer during instructional time, it certainly is appropriate for a child to "give thanks" for her meal prior to eating it.  School employees obviously require further training and closer supervision. I wouldn't buy the "no one remembers" excuse from the principle either.

That's the "Stupid News" for now. I hope you all have enjoyed it. Enjoy your "April Fools Day."

As always...