You've got nothing to fear...

We've all been afraid. It's part of life. A nightmare, a bump in the night or a creaking board on the stairs are enough to frighten anyone. Under the right circumstances, anyone can be frightened. But, that's not the type of fear I want to talk about today. I'd like to address a problem that seems to be getting worse, rather than better in our society.

Are you in some way different? Are you overweight, gay, transgendered? Do you have a deep dark secret that you think would ruin your life if it got out? It could be anything. I'm just throwing out some examples off the top of my head.

I've been afraid most of my life. Many of you know about the fear I grew up with. As a consequence, there were long term psychological issues which caused other fears. I have found that I belong to one of the largest groups of fearful people there is. Those with the fear of acceptance.

Being smaller in stature and partially crippled when I was growing up, I stood out as different. Further, I recall that I had a minor speech impediment. Often, I would pronounce my "R" sound like a "W". So, I could sound like Elmer Fudd. All these issues, added to an overall lack of confidence which followed me into my early 20's. The sad part was, there was no help for me. I was away from home and had to learn to suck it up. But, honestly; I was scared each and every day in those early days of my Naval career.

Then, one day I found a friend. Actually, he was my friend the whole time on the ship, I just didn't realize how good a friend he was. We will just call him Mike. He was my partner on a machine in the ship's laundry where we worked. Each day, Mike and I would feed table cloths into this machine which would press them. Then we would fold them. As you can imagine, it was rather mindless, repudiative work. As a consequence, Mike and I had a chance to shoot the breeze quite a bit.

If you have never been in the service, you may not understand this next part. My friend, Mike would "mess" with me. During this time of boredom, he would pick on me without mercy. The way I walked or talked. My lack of height. It was all a target for his sharp comments. One day, I didn't respond but, my feelings were really hurt and he noticed a tear roll down my check.

You can only imagine the horror on his face when he realized that he had upset me so badly that I actually shed a tear. Can you imagine my embarrassment? So, he asked what was wrong. I told him that I did not understand why he picked on me all the time. I thought we were friends. Mike smiled and told me that he was just playing. He explained that if I was unliked, no one would say anything to me, at all!

At lunch, Mike and I sat down and he explained further that I needed to develop a thicker skin if I wanted to survive in the Navy. Well, I did but I also learned more about relationships.

I didn't like being messed with. I don't mess with people I like. We can mutually joke with each other but there is no merciless picking. To me, that's bullying and I don't stand for it.

The other thing I have learned over the years is simple: If you do not like how your "Friends" treat you and you tell them so, if they don't change their ways, find new, real friends.

Real friends accept you for who and what you are. They make no judgements and they support you at each and every turn. They are there to listen and help. They pick you up when you fall and help you dust yourself off so that you can move along life's path. Most importantly, they do not care about the consequences of being the friend to someone who is different. It's a simple concept. There's a name for it. We call it LOYALTY.

So ,if you are a little different or a lot different and need a friend, if you can't find one handy, call on me. I've been afraid, just like you and I am not afraid of anything any more.

Stop being worried about wether someone likes you or approves of you, be yourself. Those that matter will more than like you and will stick by you through thick and thicker.

Just something to think about.

As always...

Children are not weapons Fast Food is nasty for them.

I am an observer of this world we live in. Like most of us, I derive a certain satisfaction in watching the drama we call life unfold in others as it creates the culture we live in. One of the ways to observe this culture is to read the help/advice column in the paper or on -line. I go with the classic "Dear Abby".

When I was a kid, my mother used to read the same column each day. Sometimes, she would read the question to me so, for some 50+ years, I have become familiar with the problems that people feel compelled to ask the famous Ms. Van Buren to help with.

Two problems caught my interest just the other day. In the first one, a mother of a 20 year old lamented the situation of her son who, it seems had been having a "relationship" with an older woman since the age of 17. In the present day, the son is the father of a small child with this woman and his love interest is unable to take care of their son. It seems that the woman has some serious emotional/mental health issues. The original letter writer does not feel comfortable raising her grandson but her son; the child's father refuses. His excuse: He is not "ready" to become a father!

Abby informed the letter writer that she needs to step up and take custody of the minor child if both parents are unable/unwilling to do so. I suppose this is a proper response but, in my mind not what I would do.

The letter writer failed to prepare the son for life! He should have known that as soon as he slept with the woman who was 4 years older than he, ready or not, fatherhood was a possibility. Once he was informed that his girlfriend was pregnant and the decision was made to have the baby, the possibility became a reality.  Fatherhood, here I come!

When I was in school, I had a Biology teacher. CDR Lewis O. Speck. He was a wonderful teacher. He taught us many things. One of them was this: Just because you are old enough to father a child doesn't mean you are qualified to be a Father. But, once the situation presents itself, you must stand up and take responsibility for your actions. In this case, there is a human life at stake.

Fatherhood is not a joke and can not be taken lightly. One way or the other, I would have informed the son of the letter writer that he must take responsibility for his actions.

The second story I wanted to talk about today was not from the advice column but just a news item that was passed along to me. It seems that in New York City, a father was accused of being incapable of controlling his 4 year old son and being a bad parent because he refused to take the child to McDonald's!

A long story short: Father and mother are divorcing. Father has every other weekend and each Tuesday evening (dinner) visitation with his son.  On this occasion, the child demanded McDonald's. Father refused and offered alternative dinning choices. Child continued tantrum. Father returned child to mother without dinner. Mother promptly took child to McDonald's. Psychologist reports to court that the father is unable to control the child properly and this incident is tantamount to abuse. Recommends visitation be severely curtailed.

I certainly hope that the judge in this case sees this incident for what it is and makes the right decision. The child is being used as a weapon in the deforce proceeding and that is just wrong.

I was raised by a shrink. It was a crazy way to grow up. My father kept trying to be the shrink and not the Dad. As a consequence I got neither. Parents should be allowed to raise their kids, not mental health professionals. When courts order children to therapy routinely, they do the parents a disservice.

Further, parents need to understand that children are not basketballs that can be passed back and forth or hand grenades to be used as a weapon. Children need unified parents to love and nurture them. Discipline needs to be firm and fair by both parents. Most importantly, 4 year olds don't get to run the family and in no galaxy that I know of is McDonald's a healthy meal for a little child.

Just Sayin'...

As always...

Gosh, Time sure flies when you re having fun.

32 years ago today, my oldest child, a daughter was born. Now, she is a grown, married woman with a daughter of her own and another child on the way. How time flies.

I always wanted to be a Dad. My father was not very good at his fatherly functions (as far as I was conceded) so, I wanted to be a Dad so that I could prove that I could do better than he. I think I did.

I loved being the father of a small child. It was just a joy for me to come home to my small family. My little one would always be happy to see me. As she got older, her ability to express herself grew and when I would come home, I was greeted by cries of "Daddy!" and the sound of little feet running to me so she could get her hugs and kisses. I was in heaven.

Through the years, my oldest child and I always remained close. There have been the rough spots, of course, but that happens in the closest of relationships. I know that I was always there for my daughter and will do everything I can to remain there as her greatest fan, as long as I have breath.

It's difficult to put into words the love I feel for my daughter. Beyond that, I feel a great sense of pride. She took her time in finding a husband. Unlike many of this day and age, my daughter waited to get married until she had found the right person and they were both in a position to go into the relationship of marriage in a mature and measured manner.

Her husband is a wonderful man who loves both her and their daughter. I am sure that the new addition to their growing family will come into a loving and nurturing family. That's the most important thing.

My daughter is a wonderful Mom. Although she raises her own daughter differently than I might, every minute of each day with the little one is filled with love and her every action is motivated by that same love.

It seems strange to me to be talking about my grown daughter like this. It seems like only yesterday that her only problem was what color crayon to use or what to watch on television. (She used to love Fraggle Rock). But, time does indeed fly by and I have to remind myself each day that my children are grown and my oldest  especially, doesn't need my help any longer. But, she knows I am available at the drop of a hat, if required or desired.

So, have a wonderful birthday, my darling daughter. You will always be the light of my life. Enjoy your time with your own daughter, she is just on loan. One day, you too will have to give her up to live her own life. If you are very lucky, you will be allowed in just as you have allowed me into your life, even though you are "all grown up."

Ah, the potential of the stroke of a pen!

On this date in 1846, the Secretary of the Navy, George Bancroft signed an order that the term "Larboard" would no longer be used to identify the left side of the ship. The logic behind this was simple; "Larboard" and "Starboard" were to close in sound and this caused confusion. In it's place the word "Port" would be used to identify the left side of a ship. The order still stands today. Proving that a 3 and a half line document can indeed change the course of history. Would that other problems in our society could be solved with such efficiency and brevity.

Think about it. If the stroke of a pen could solve all problems, how easy life would be. You don't like brussel sprouts? Write an order and it is done! Children refuse to keep their rooms neat and tidy? Here comes that pen again! Ah, life would be wonderful.

Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way and we are not all in the navy. (Your Loss) I know quite a few people who would do well with a good healthy helping of Naval style discipline. I for one, used to hold "Captain's Mast" when the children would misbehave grossly. Unfortunately, I was informed that keel hauling was considered child abuse. I had to settle for sending them to their rooms.

I always liked the orderliness of the service. We even informed the Captain (Shipboard) when noon was approaching). The messenger or Petty Officer of the Watch would report to the Captain , salute and report: "Good Morning, Sir.
                    The Officer of the Deck sends his respects and
                     reports the hour of 12 o'clock.
                     All chronometers have been wound and compared.
                     Request permission to strike 8 bells on time, Sir!"

This all had to be recited from memory while saluting. The Captain's response was simple: "Make it so."

Everything in the report was important and goes back to the days of sail. The ships's chronometers were vital for proper navigation. The hour of 12 o'clock was also vital for Navigation because, in the days of sail, the Captain held the navigational instruments and would take "Sun shots" at precisely noon each day. These traditions continue even today in this day and age of GPS and digital high speed data communications.

With a simple command of "Make it so!" the routine was permitted to continue on the ship without interruption. In my house, things are not that simple.

Every decision is debated and dissected by those who neither pay the bills or are responsible for the decision.  But, you see, I am a benevolent dictator and must at least give the illusion of fairness in my small kingdom.  If I fail in that task, my queen becomes annoyed with me and at that point, no one is permitted happiness.

So, good for you Secretary Bancroft. Well done and thank you for your service to the Navy and the nation. I sure wish I could control my department with the stroke of a pen.

Oh, well. I think it's time to take my anti-delusion medication. Maybe my blood sugar is just a little low because it's lunch time.  Enjoy your day.

As always...

The Fall of our Civilization is upon us.

A member of the student government at McGill university in Canada was accused of racism for posting this photo of President Obama clicking a door. Although the picture is a joke (it was part of a video spoof by Jay Leno on the Tonight Show) it seems that even as a joke, it offended some small group of students and they charged the offending student with a violation of the schools standards of conduct, to whit: "micro-aggresion". This seems to be a blanket term used to cover any type of offense that may offend any group and any time. Sort of like article 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (The General Article). "Any offense not covered by this code shall be covered by this article."

First, this photo was a .gif file used by a known comedian. You may not like Jay Leno (He's off the Tonight show now anyway. Jimmy Fallon did a fine job in his debut, last night.) but, Jay is indeed a recognized comedian.

Secondly, I imagine that since I am not paranoid about my lineage, I am unqualified to determine if some imaginary slight that no one else noticed was in fact racism.

The logic behind the charge was that the picture shows the President in the midst of a violent act and since he is a person of color, it depicts all persons of color as violent. I hate to be blunt but, that is the most ridiculous kind of horse hockey I have ever heard. It comes right from the 1920's and has been disproven time and time again. Bringing the charge of racism under those circumstances and utilizing that type of out of date, hokey social science is in it self racist! The people bring the charge should be apologizing not the Vice-president of the Student Government.

Are we now expected to be so stupid that we can not have the simplest thoughts in our silly little uneducated heads? I say uneducated because we obviously were not educated in the proper time or place of enlightenment as the students up in Canada. But, I have more.

This story was reported in the American media. Unfortunately, we do have the ability to communicate. How we developed that ability with our limited intellectual potential, I do not know. The fact remains that we, as americans do have the ability to communicate and we use it. Some liberal, let's not offend anyone students will undoubtedly see this story and try and adopt the same rules of "Micro-aggresion" in their school. What's next? City ordinance? State and then Federal Law? Maybe we will see a Constitutional amendment one day.

I can see it now: "The House of Representatives, in the name of the People of the United States proposes that the Constitution of the United States be amended as follows:

1. The United States shall pass no law or allow any citizen of the various states to offend in thought, word or deed and other citizen or resident of the United States.

2. Article 1 of this amendment may be applied to the various citizens of the planet at the discretion of the executive branch.

3. The Congress of the United States shall have the authority to enforce this amendment as necessary.

4. The provisions of this amendment shall not apply to the legislative branch of the government of the United States or any of it's offices, staffs or officers.

That would pretty much cover everything and leave the congress off the hook. But, think about it (in a non-offensive way, please.) Under the proposed amendment, we could not offend in thought, word or deed. Hmmmm; sounds kind of Christian to me. Better scrap the old bill of rights. We would be infringing on free speech, but the liberals don't want that anyway.

Oh, I could go on all day. I won't do that. I will apologize to my real thinking liberal friends. I know you do not think this way and I did not mean to lump you in with the whackadoodles who do these crazy things.

I say all of this to just let you all see what is going on around us and ask you all to think. Of course, I am not for Racism, real racism. But when we start calling everything racism we take away from the real problem and therefore it doesn't get fixed. So, let us save the harsh words for the real social problems and leave the comedy to the comedians.

As always...

It always happens when you take a week off...

For a little while now, I had been struggling to find something interesting to write about. I want to write about things that I feel passion for, things that excite me and incite the mind to think about life a little differently. I'm not so egocentric to think that my little blog, read by a whole 8 people daily would do anything to change the world but, maybe it can change my little corner of it.

So, I decided to take a week off. Settle my mind and collect my thoughts. As soon as I decide to do that, what happens? I'll tell you. An occurrence of world wide proportion happens, that's what happens.  On Monday February 10, 2014 Shirley Temple Black died.

Many of you may wonder why I refer to this as an occurrence of world wide proportion. It's simple. It's Shirley Temple. That smile, pictured above is and will forever be recognized as that of the greatest child star of all time. Miss Temple, from the age of 3 defined child stardom. Her movies are still popular today, although she and now her estate receive no monies for the sale of video.

I remember watching Shirley Temple movies on Television with my mother, as a child. I was always amazed at the ease in which this little girl with the dimpled smile could dance in any situation. It is obvious why she was so popular on the screen in the 1930's. Of course, as she grew older and eventually into adolescence, her popularity waned. When she retired from the film industry in about 1950, many thought they had heard the last of Miss Shirley Temple. She was thought to be just another "pretty face." They were very wrong.

Shirley Temple was active in politics. From 1969 through 1992 she held various positions of responsibility in Presidential administrations, including several ambassadorships.

Now, you may ask; how does the death of an 85 year old former child star cause us to think and look at the world differently? First and foremost, this country has lost a great treasure in the talent of Ambassador Temple. Fortunately, the great bulk of her film work is available for viewing on various digital media. I highly recommend it.

Secondly and more importantly, Ambassador Shirley Temple Black stands as an example to everyone and especially women  that they can accomplish anything they wish. There are no barriers that can hold anyone back if they are willing to face them head on and scale them.

When Shirley Temple retired from the movies, she was thought to just fade quietly into the night. She didn't do that. She could have but, she continued to stand for what she believed in. Whether you agree with her political stance or not is not important. The important factor is, she took a stand and made it stick. She became the voice of this country in the places she was Ambassador. She stood on the floor of the General Assembly of the United Nations, for our country. That's a long way from the Fox movie lot.

So, I say well done Miss Temple. You've used well the gift of life that was given to you and you now deserve your rest. Rest well, for you shall be missed.

As always...

Let's just take the easy way out...

Well, the United States Navy has started out the year well, with a scandal. This time, it's not sexual misconduct or bribe taking. Of all things, it's test cheating within the Nuclear Training program. It seems that more than 30 senior personnel have been caught cheating on exams designed to certify them to TRAIN OTHERS to operate nuclear power plants throughout the Navy.

Having been stationed on board Nuclear powered vessels during my career, this conduct appalls me and I am frankly disgusted. Once again, the actions of a few have sullied the reputations of many. The fact that the latest scandal took place in such an important area of the Navy is even more shocking. Tens of thousands of lives can be at stake. Forget about the money involved. These are lives we are talking about!

So, of course, the powers of the Navy will meet and discuss their options. Public statements will be released and there will probably be a press conference.  But, it seems to me that the solution, in the short term is simple. Once the guilty are identified, they should all be dismissed from the service; dishonorably. They have placed lives in danger,  avoided their responsibilities as leaders and worst of al; all involved have violated the public trust.

Violating the Public Trust is the most egregious offense anyone can commit. We, as citizens trust that our military personnel will carry out their duties to the best of their abilities. We, as the public do, after all; give over our most prized gift to the Government when they join the service: Our Children. No matter what age the person is when they join, they are someone's child, brother, sister, husband or wife.

But those involved with this cheating scandal don't seem to care. "Let's cheat. It's only a test. It's not the "real" thing. What's the harm?"  Were these the thoughts that went through their minds? Did they even have thoughts?

By the way, Let's strike the term "Core Values" from the Department of the Navy's lexicon. It would seem that there is a lack of value prevelant in the Navy. Well, maybe that is an unfair statement. At a minimum, we have reached a time when there needs to be more training in Core Values. I am not just talking about going over the words. I am speaking of Learning what they mean and learning to live them.

With 30 people caught up in this scandal, it is obvious to me that there is an institutional atmosphere that turns a blind eye towards this  type of action. Otherwise, it could not have happened.

Honor, Courage and Commitment in the truest sense of the words would not have allowed this to happen. You see, if you take those words at their meaning, the most junior person in the Navy has the same leadership responsibilities as the most senior. Therefore, even the most junior person could have blown the whistle, so to speak, on this operation before it got off the ground.

The Navy's core values teach that we are required to do the right thing, each and every time, regardless of consequence or reward; weather someone is looking or not. We do not do this because we look for recognition or revenge. We do this simply because it is the right thing to do.

If someone had the courage to live up to their responsibilities in the beginning of all of this, the "cheating plot" would have failed before it got started.

I hope that the Chief of Naval Operations and the Secretary of the Navy live up to their responsibilities and the Navy's Core Values and do what is required to regain the public trust. Their subordinates certainly have failed.

If they need an instructor, I'd be happy to teach the class, no charge.

As Always...

Let's make the glass half full...

During the 2014 Superbowl, the Coca-Cola Company ran an advertisement in which people from all around the world were enjoying Coca-Cola while "America the Beautiful" was sung as background in various languages, foreign in the United States. For some reason, this has caused a backlash.

I have read all sorts of angry posts on the internet and seen news reports that this commercial has created a groundswell of dislike towards Coke. Many people have said that they will no longer purchase "Coke products". I find this rather confusing.

I would like to take this opportunity to explain my take on this commercial. First, it's a commercial. In it, people from all over the world, of different cultures and probably faiths are depicted living their lives and enjoying Coca-Cola: an American product. Next to Marlboro Cigarettes, Coke is probably the most recognized American product in the world.

Coke is sold in most countries of the world. I can not think of any country where I could not get a Coke if I wanted one. So, why not, as an international company, show that their uniquely American product is sold successfully, world wide? The singing is just another way of illustrating that theme. It's not like the background music was the National anthem of Iran or possibly Afghanistan.  The music was "America the Beautiful."

This particular piece of music, if not recognized internationally, in the most remote places of the world simply by it's melody is certainly recognizable as an American tune or Anthem, if you wish once the lyrics are heard. So, where is the insult to this country?

This commercial, rather than being an insult to Americans is a tribute to what America should be. Remember the sonnet by Emma Lazarus and enshrined on a plaque inside the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty:

.."Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

This passage reminds us what we are supposed to be. We are Americans. We welcome immigration. We welcome the peoples of the world to come and live here to enrich our society with their culture. Have we become so narrow-minded in our attitudes that we believe that America is just for "Americans"? If we have, there is a big problem. There are very few Native peoples left. Most of us are immigrants. So, if the use of foreigners in a commercial offends you, maybe you need to re-examine your stance.

The comercial in question was showing an international company that is still today, uniquely American. By having the music in the background sung in various languages, they effectively illustrated that the company is international in scope but the choice of song; "America the Beautiful", recognized world wide as a truly American song, representative of the love Americans have for this country, shows that The Coca-Cola Company is still now and will remain an American company.

Rather than being offended by the commercial in question, celebrate America with it. Be glad that an American product is recognized all over the world. If only we all could enjoy that level of success. 

You see, the glass IS half full, not half empty. Free expression is alive and well and narrow-mindedness an be defeated with just a little thought. 

Have a coke and a smile!

As Always