You've got nothing to fear...

We've all been afraid. It's part of life. A nightmare, a bump in the night or a creaking board on the stairs are enough to frighten anyone. Under the right circumstances, anyone can be frightened. But, that's not the type of fear I want to talk about today. I'd like to address a problem that seems to be getting worse, rather than better in our society.

Are you in some way different? Are you overweight, gay, transgendered? Do you have a deep dark secret that you think would ruin your life if it got out? It could be anything. I'm just throwing out some examples off the top of my head.

I've been afraid most of my life. Many of you know about the fear I grew up with. As a consequence, there were long term psychological issues which caused other fears. I have found that I belong to one of the largest groups of fearful people there is. Those with the fear of acceptance.

Being smaller in stature and partially crippled when I was growing up, I stood out as different. Further, I recall that I had a minor speech impediment. Often, I would pronounce my "R" sound like a "W". So, I could sound like Elmer Fudd. All these issues, added to an overall lack of confidence which followed me into my early 20's. The sad part was, there was no help for me. I was away from home and had to learn to suck it up. But, honestly; I was scared each and every day in those early days of my Naval career.

Then, one day I found a friend. Actually, he was my friend the whole time on the ship, I just didn't realize how good a friend he was. We will just call him Mike. He was my partner on a machine in the ship's laundry where we worked. Each day, Mike and I would feed table cloths into this machine which would press them. Then we would fold them. As you can imagine, it was rather mindless, repudiative work. As a consequence, Mike and I had a chance to shoot the breeze quite a bit.

If you have never been in the service, you may not understand this next part. My friend, Mike would "mess" with me. During this time of boredom, he would pick on me without mercy. The way I walked or talked. My lack of height. It was all a target for his sharp comments. One day, I didn't respond but, my feelings were really hurt and he noticed a tear roll down my check.

You can only imagine the horror on his face when he realized that he had upset me so badly that I actually shed a tear. Can you imagine my embarrassment? So, he asked what was wrong. I told him that I did not understand why he picked on me all the time. I thought we were friends. Mike smiled and told me that he was just playing. He explained that if I was unliked, no one would say anything to me, at all!

At lunch, Mike and I sat down and he explained further that I needed to develop a thicker skin if I wanted to survive in the Navy. Well, I did but I also learned more about relationships.

I didn't like being messed with. I don't mess with people I like. We can mutually joke with each other but there is no merciless picking. To me, that's bullying and I don't stand for it.

The other thing I have learned over the years is simple: If you do not like how your "Friends" treat you and you tell them so, if they don't change their ways, find new, real friends.

Real friends accept you for who and what you are. They make no judgements and they support you at each and every turn. They are there to listen and help. They pick you up when you fall and help you dust yourself off so that you can move along life's path. Most importantly, they do not care about the consequences of being the friend to someone who is different. It's a simple concept. There's a name for it. We call it LOYALTY.

So ,if you are a little different or a lot different and need a friend, if you can't find one handy, call on me. I've been afraid, just like you and I am not afraid of anything any more.

Stop being worried about wether someone likes you or approves of you, be yourself. Those that matter will more than like you and will stick by you through thick and thicker.

Just something to think about.

As always...