Smart phones are wonderful things. It's great to walk around with a computer in your pocket. With the right data plan, your smart phone can really be a useful thing. Check that bank balance, double check those directions, you can even entertain yourself while waiting for an appointment to begin. You are never far from breaking news with your smart phone. They are truly wonders of the age.

There is a drawback to smartphone use. I  have noticed it and I am sure that many of you have seen it, also. The "younger" generation seems to have fallen into the "Smartphone trap" of never looking up from their phone and engaging in social activity. I can't watch a movie or television program with one of my children without them having their noses stuck in their phone, playing some mindless game or another. 

My daughter spends every waking minute of the day playing on the phone. She has actually burned food cooking due to mindless game playing. 

My son is nearly as bad. He doesn't cook but he is always playing on his phone.

Frankly, I'm tired of it! If I am watching a program or movie, it would be nice for my partners in this activity to be in the moment with me. Otherwise, please leave the room.  I would rather be alone in fact than in a room with two other people who are zoned out on a mindless game and then swear that they just spent time with me. I may as well have been alone, so let's just make it a reality.

My wife does the same thing. She uses her nook and I am trying to have a conversation. She won't even look up from the contraption. When I say something, I'm told "I'm listening. I don't need to be looking at you to hear you." Really? I was taught that it was polite to look at the person who was talking to you. I guess I am old fashioned. To be fair, my wife doesn't do it all the time.

Maybe I am asking to much. All I know is that when I have a visitor, I put the cell phone down. When I visit someone, I put the cell phone down. If I must pay attention to the electronic leash, I at least say "excuse me."

It's a matter of simple civility. It's not the fault of the cell phone. I did not raise my children to be rude. They just turned out that way. I wonder what wold happen if I changed the  password to the home wifi? I wold probably wind up paying huge data charges since I'm the only one who pays attention to the data connection.

I promise, if any of you visit me, i'll put the phone down and pay attention to you.

As always...

Fire in the cockpit!!!

47 years ago today, America suffered it's first direct mission related deaths with the fire on board the Apollo 1 command module spacecraft. Three brave american astronauts lost their lives in the accident that delayed the American space program more than a year.

At the time of the accident, the names Gus Grissom and Edward White were known to the American public. LCol Grissom was a veteran of both the Mercury and Gemini programs.  LCol White was the first American to "walk" in space during the Gemini program. The third member of the crew, Roger Chaffee was the only "rookie" to space flight. The Apollo 1 mission was to be his first flight into space.

During the afternoon of 27 January 1967, the crew of Apollo 1 was sealed into their spacecraft for what was commonly known as a "Plugs out" test. This pre-flight test was designed to test all the systems of the spacecraft without support from the ground based systems. Unfortunately, one of the criterion of the test was to pump the spacecraft full of oxygen.

At about 6:31 p.m. a voice came over the troublesome communications system (presumably Roger Chaffee) "Fire! Fire in the cockpit!". Those were the last words heard from the brave crew of Apollo 1.  The Emergency lasted just 90 seconds but in those seconds three great men gave their lives to further the cause of exploration and knowledge.

As a result of the investigation that followed, the Apollo space craft was redesigned to make it safer. The atmosphere in the spacecraft was no longer 100% oxygen and other modifications were made to try to avoid the same issues that caused the accident on that fateful day in January, 1967.

We must not forget the brave explorers of the American manned space program. In it's wisdom, or lack thereof, the government has decided that we no longer have a need for our own program. I will have to disagree.

You see, over the years, we have lost 17 people in the direct exploration of space, including Grissom, White and Chaffee. In spite of those losses, we still want to reach for the stars and explore the unknown. It may not be inexpensive but I believe that it is more expensive for us not to do so. By not making the investment to explore and learn, we are trusting that responsibility to gain knowledge to others. That is just not the way to do things.

The Apollo 1 astronauts did not fly the heavens for glory or fame. They would have done it in anonymity.  The reason they did it can be summed up in one word. Service.

They were performing a service for mankind. What greater service is there than to increase the knowledge of all humankind? But now, that is for others as America will now take it's easy place on the bleachers of the world and let someone else do the "heavy lifting" of exploration and discovery. We, as Americans can always read about it on-line.

Until we see fit to develop our own manned space program again, I will continue to raise my glass to those pioneers who without fear, gave their lives in the name of knowledge, exploration and discovery.

As always...

Gosh, If I was famous, could I act like a jerk too?

So, Justin Bieber was finally arrested for his bad behavior. DUI, Resisting arrest and driving without a valid license. Of course, the Biebs had been terrorizing the neighborhood where he lives in the Miami area for over a year with his wild parting and dangerous driving. Only now is he arrested. His fans can rejoice since, he was only in custody for a few hours. Those with wads of money get whatever they want in our system of justice. The media reports that he waved at the crowd when he was released from jail. I know all of this because as I was scanning the news this morning, there was a story about his red jumpsuit in the news.

There was no story about how celebrity is indulged in our society. The story was about the color of the jumpsuit. You see, celebrities are isolated from the regular jail population for their own safety. What a shame. I think that the "wannabe gansta" celebrities like master Justin should be thrown in the mist of the hard talking, rough living people of the street that he so admires. Well, that is his public persona. Justin likes think of himself as one of the "boys" from the "Hood". Please, stop laughing and keep reading.

At 19 he was arrested for DUI and admitted to the arresting officers that he was indeed intoxicated from both alcohol and drugs. I think he should be thrown in the nut house as a danger to himself and others. Serious psychological intervention needs to take place, not for his welfare; for the good of the public. I could care less about Justin Bieber. Send him back to Canada! Put a hammer in his hand and make him do a year of community service with Mike Holmes. Some good hard, physical labor would do him good and maybe he would learn some responsibility while he was at it.

Unfortunately, Mike Holmes is a professional builder and wouldn't put up with Bieber's stupidity. But, there needs to be real consequences for these celebrities who run amok and seem to get away with everything until the law and society can no longer turn a blind eye. This usually happens after something really serious has happened.

Our justice system is ripe with the history of indulging celebrities. Lindsey Lohan is another example of talent destroyed by indulgence. Her promising acting career has all but been destroyed because of her bad behavior and a failure of anyone close to her to hold her to account and ensure that she received the supervision that she obviously required.

On the other hand. Supervision and intervention does work. Look at Brittany Spears. This young woman was spinning out of control. She had become a media darling to the tabloids. Her misbehavior was so legendary that most people were just wondering: what was she going to do next? The straw that broke the proverbial camel's back occurred when Ms. Spears shaved off her own hair.  It was then that her family stepped in and the courts agreed that the woman needed some serious help.

By all accounts, Brittany Spears is now thriving. She is getting the psychological/psychiatric assistance that she requires and people who care about her and not just her money are looking after her and her affairs. At one point, she even told the judge to keep the conservatorship in place because "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!"  Good for you!

My point is simple. Celebrity is not a free pass to run wild in the streets. Must we wait until someone is hurt or killed  before the criminal justice system steps in and takes some type of action? These young stars are given so much money at such a young age and then are expected to act accordingly. That just doesn't work. Someone needs to step in and do something. Failing that, send Justin back to Canada. Let our friends to the north deal with him. He is a guest in our Country. I think he has outstayed his welcome. Just my humble opinion.

As Always...

Many an Ego has tripped a good person up...

I always find it interesting how even the most sensible of people seem to fall off the deep end simply to protect their own ego.

We all know that person who must be right all the time and is willing to argue when there is no need to do so, just to prove the unnecessary point. Further, we all know that person who is so stubborn that they refuse to ask for assistance even when the help is readily available and free of charge of any sort.

Before we get any further along here, let me admit freely that I myself have been guilty of these transgressions at some time during my travels. I hope that I have reached an age where I have stopped allowing my ego to dictate my every action.

A certain male of my acquaintance was having problems with his fancy new iPhone. The youngster came into my living room and with no regard for the fact that I appeared to be busy, began complaining that his fancy new phone was not working. My response; as the resident computer person was simple. "Give me the phone." I said.

Well, you would have thought that I had asked they young man to surgically remove an important organ without the benefit of  anesthesia. I received a resounding "NO!" in reply. Furthermore, I was lectured on the fact that he could fix his phone himself and did not need nor did he want my help!

Pardon me. I got out of the way of the raging male ego that had attempted to trample me and let the youngster carry on. As a matter of fact, I told him to "Carry On!" Preferably, out of my sight. Less than 5 minutes later, the current problem youth had returned.

With fancy iPhone in hand, he asked if I would look at the phone and if possible, fix it. Now, my friends; I could have reacted in several ways, most beginning with laughter but, I chose to be polite. I was still busy and my son (Yes, the cause of my mounting cranial pain was my son.) was unconcerned that I was indeed busy with a project that did not involve him.

I asked why he did not just let me fix the phone 5 minutes ago when this all started and I received an angry reply about how he wanted to do it himself. I pointed out that he was not doing it himself, I was and it would have been simpler if he had given me the phone and I would have shown him how to fix it. My child of 26 years was unimpressed. I asked for the phone and the charging cord.

He gave me the phone and wanted to know why I needed the cord. I told him that if  he watched me he would learn how and why. Giving me the power/data cord, he promptly walked away to sit on the couch, across the room.

After seeing that my computer was recognizing the device, but seeing that the problem did not clear when connected to the computer, I performed a restart of the phone. The problem was cleared. The fix took all of 2 minutes and my son never learned how to do it because he was across the room. So much for doing it himself, next time.

I explained what I had done and can only hope that he gets it. Not my phone. He was all about fixing the phone himself and I can understand that. But he didn't have to get all bent out of shape when I asked to help him out. When he finally did ask for help, he didn't even hang around to see what steps I took to 1. Determine the problem. 2. Restore the device to working order.

I really don't know if I was ever that hard headed. I hope not. but the thing to remember is this: There is no shame in asking for help, especially from someone who cares about you. Most people will offer help without judgement.

We all need help now and again. Even I must admit that there may be one or two things about this world that I might not know all about. I have been known to ask for help more often than I can remember. No shame involved.

Our egos are funny things. They drive us to do some strange things but, in many cases, we don't need to exercise our egos. As adults I would hope that we have grown beyond the schoolyard requirement to be the biggest and strongest. I fear that is not the case.

My youngest daughter spend a few months in New Jersey this summer/fall. She was "visiting" my sister and her partner. During this visit, my sister made it clear that she did not like my daughter talking to me on the phone. When my daughter would speak to me on the phone, my sister and her partner wanted to know the verbatim details of the conversation in order to "analyze" what my meaning was.

Regular readers of this blog already know that I do not speak in codes. I say what I mean in plain, simple english. I usually leave little room for interpretation or confusion of MY meaning or intent. My sister was allowing her personal feelings and her ego to color her actions and distort innocent conversation between a father and daughter. Just because my sister had unresolved issues with her father doesn't necessarily mean that my daughter has the same problem. Ego, once again.

You see, the need to be right all the time can be very damaging to all sorts of relationships. Don't let your ego get in the way of what is important in your life.

Think about it this way...There's a reason that pride is a sin.

As Always...

Is a pledge still a pledge if...???

Oh, NO! Bob is going to talk of patriotism again. Yesterday I spoke of traditions so, it seemed only natural that today I would talk patriotism and how it is manifested in our country.

I would like to start with the "Pledge of Allegiance". I think we all know it but, if you have forgotten it, see bellow. There is an ongoing debate in the country as to weather the Pledge should be recited in school. I have my own personal feelings on the matter and will not publish them here. Those who know me personally can pretty well guess how I feel or ask me privately, I'll be happy to share. I would like to talk about the Pledge in a larger more public policy context.

Why do people get so up in arms about the Pledge of Allegiance? When I was a child, we used to recite it each and every morning. It was a part of the school day. As little kids, we never really had the meaning of the words of this particular patriotic activity explained to us. It was only when I was older that I gained any understanding of the meaning of the Pledge.

So, as a matter of public policy, let's take a look at the meaning involved here. We are pledging our allegiance to a "Flag". Furthermore, we are swearing allegiance to "The Republic for which it Stands". (I have no issue with One Nation, Under God, with Liberty etc...)

Now strictly as a matter of public policy, I could see how some may have a problem with some of the ideas in this pledge. Even those in the uniformed service of our country do not pledge loyalty to the Republic. We swear to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. A subtle difference indeed but, a difference none the less.

Furthermore, we as a society have agreed that citizens of other countries who may be visiting our happy shores are entitled to utilize our public school system. As citizens of other countries, would they be required to recite the same pledge? If not, must they stand? If so, what if they were to refuse? They certainly would have a valid reason for not standing during a Completely American pledge of loyalty which they have no desire to participate. I would fully support their non-participation.

Let us say for the sake of that same public policy that participation in the pledge is not a requirement, nor is standing for non-participants. Does that not open those same non-participants up to ridicule and bullying at worst and questions and gossip at best?

These are all questions which must be asked. I, of course have a solution. (Don't I usually?). If, as a parent you would like your child to be exposed to  things such as this pledge, I recommend Scouts or JROTC.

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

Strong words. I always said them without being compelled to do so. That's what a pledge is all about.

As Always...

We wouldn't want to offend anyone...or would we?

Recently a friend passed along an emotional letter to "Navy Times" written by LCDR Thomas Sousa, USN(Ret). The letter laments the passing of Navy Tradition as dead and gone. Certainly not forgotten.

I agree with the Commander's assessment and will go further and say that the watering down of traditions in this country in favor of "Political Correctness" has diluted the fabric of the American culture to the point that we, as a Nation have forgotten who we are.

Traditions are the sign post along the road of a culture which remind the members of that culture  of their origin and beliefs. When you dilute the traditions in the name of not offending any particular group or individual you weaken the sign post until it falls and it's value as an aid to our Navigation through life is lost.

Now, let there be no mistake. I am not speaking of some Tea Partyeske flag waving and return to "Traditional American Values". The folks that spout that silliness can't even define what they themselves are talking about. I am talking of simple traditional things such as  Manners, discipline and the idea that we can achieve with hard work.

Several years ago, I was at the local shopping center and I held a door for a middle aged woman. She gave me a "dirty" look and said she didn't need me to hold a door or anything else for her. Well, Madame, EXCUSE ME! Do I need to go through the reasons and origins of why we are supposed to do things for women? I am not saying that any woman can not do any job she desires. She certainly may. But, I am saying that the tradition of curtesy should not have to suffer in the name of equality of the genders.

Patriotism. Patriotism has fallen down the rabbit hole of forgetfulness. On 9/11/01 patriotism was the order of the day but now, 12 years and several months later, it's harder to find. Here is an example. The other day, my son (a Cpl in the Marine Corps Reserve) were on board a local Naval installation and had just stepped outside a building at 0800. Anyone familiar with Navy/Marine Corps procedure will tell you that Morning Colors is executed at precisely that time.  At the first blast of the bugle call to attention, we both stopped, came to attention, performed a half left face (to face the command flag pole) and placed our right hand over our hearts. This was done without thinking. While at this position of respect for the National Colors, I observed 3 vehicles pull into the parking garage and 4 people (in uniform) continue walking. What happened to the tradition? Morning colors is not just an exercise in standing at attention. It is observed in order for all hands to reaffirm their commitment to the Nation the Service and their Shipmates!

It is not "old fashioned" to want to get back to some traditional things in our lives. Those things that remind us who and what we are. I could list many but, for each of you, there are your own traditions. Don't let them die for the sake of Political Correctness. I've talked about this before and I will keep talking about it.

If I offend, I'm not sorry. It's how I feel. If you agree, hop on the band wagon by bringing back a few of your traditions. Don't loose your way on the road. Shore up those signs.

As Always...

As Long as you have breath.

I seem to be spending a lot of my time at the Naval Hospital these days. Sometimes, it gets frustrating. Various maladies have differing degrees of discomfort associated with them. Physical Therapy is very stressful and painful. So, I think it is understandable if I get discouraged and frustrated from time to time.

When I do feel discouraged, I have to make an effort to pause and think about the larger picture. You see, I am alive. That, in itself is an accomplishment. I've been fighting to live, all my life, literally.

You see, I was not supposed to survive. 57 years ago, being 2 months premature was a real medical emergency and the odds of survival for the child were minimal at best. Add to the equation that my mother had suffered a host of miscarriages and it is easy to come to the conclusion that my number was nearly up from the very beginning.

I've talked in past posts about challenges in life and that is not the point of today's post so, let's skip that subject all together. I'll say this: I'm not complaining or looking for any sympathy. I'm just trying to illustrate that life is a difficult road for everyone. It has it's own particular challenges for each of us.

So, in view of the above, I'd like to say that there are a couple of things I have learned from this adventure. First and most important; although you may not believe it, you are only apportioned that adversity that you can handle.  This is not to say that you know you can handle it. Further, I am not saying that shouldering your challenges will be easy. On the contrary. A challenge, by it's very nature intimates difficulty. So, take a page out of the United States Marine Corps handbook and suck it up. In the end, you will be glad that you did.

There is nothing as satisfying as meeting a challenge and surviving. I can tell you from my own experience, it's the best feeling in the world. I don't care what the challenge is. It can be as complicated as completing a physical demand or as simple as making a cookie. If you have never done it before, it is a challenge and you must meet it. No one ever succeeded by quitting.

Most importantly, the biggest lesson you need to learn is this: As long as you are breathing, you are winning. The goal of the game is to live. All you have to do is continue doing so. No one who matters cares about the material things that you have. I care about my friends and family as people, not as repositories for things. They are not the J.C. Penny Catalogue. If you have nice things and you like them, fine. If you live a more modest life, that's fine too.  The things in your life are not what are important.

The only person you need to impress in your life is yourself.  So many of us spend our days looking to impress others. It may be friends or the boss or our neighbors that are our target. It's an up hill battle that you just can't win. Stop fighting it. Be happy in who you are.

Once you stop running in the "rat race", you can enjoy life for what it is. Simply, life.

How many of you remember the smell of the first clear day of spring after the flowers have bloomed? Maybe it's the smell of the sea that brings back a special memory. The sound of children playing should be a symphony to your ears, not a distraction.

Go to a little league game. Dig in the garden. Make mud pies with your grandchildren. Enjoy life. That is what life is for.

I was reminded today how wonderful a gift our lives are. I had just left Physical Therapy. They really do work my arm and shoulder hard and it was pretty sore. I was feeling frustrated and a little demoralized.  As I was walking towards the main entrance to the hospital, I ran into the surgeon who performed the open heart procedure on me 16 months ago. During our quick conversation, I was reminded that it was because of this man that I was still alive. So, no matter how I was feeling, I had an obligation to him and the rest of the good folks at the Naval Hospital to celebrate that gift of live which they had renewed for me.

I am  grateful for the work so many people have done to keep me breathing air in this life. I hope to be doing so for a long time to come. I have come to realize that the privilege of  breathing is indeed a gift and should not be taken for granted.

No matter how difficult your day may seem, remember; there is always someone who is having a more difficult time than you. So, be thankful for each moment you have here. They are all indeed a gift.

As always...

What do you do with your Personal Values?

Call them what you will: Personal Values, Core Values, Religious Values, Commandments, they are all the same things. They are a list of rules by which we each choose to live our lives.

For the most part, we learn these "rules" early in life. Usually in "Sunday School" and reenforced in our homes by family. Many choose the values they wish to live their lives by as young adults, after they have experienced some of life on their own.

In our society, we value honesty above most other characteristics. Most other personal values flow from honesty.

I learned my "core values" in military school as a child and teenager. So, when the time came for the U.S. Navy to officially promulgate a set of core values, the words "Honor, Courage and Commitment" did not put forth new ideas for me.

Call me an idealist but, when the Navy put forth these three words as their core values, they chose very well because I believe these three simple words very clearly convey the ideas that are best in our society; not just in the Navy.

But, for any set of values to be effective, they must be put into practice. In the case of the Department of the Navy, they can not just simply be words emblazoned on a wall for all to see. They must become part of the fabric of daily life. We have to live our values or they become just words with no meaning at all.

Our values are like the lines on the highway. They keep us on the proper road. They are a guide. The other day, as a patient in the hospital, the Corpsman; in the company of the nurse asked me an ethical question. Since just telling the young Sailor the answer would not have taught him anything, I answered him with a question of my own. "What do the Core Values tell you to do?" The Sailor looked at me perplexed.

This was the perfect example of the problem I am speaking to. With untold hours of training in "Core Values", this young Sailor did not know how to apply the words that he had learned.

I could go into a dissertation of my interpretation of the Department of the Navy's Core Values but, I'm sure most of you know how I feel about the words "Honor, Courage and Commitment." So, let me take this opportunity to change it up just a little and talk of responsibility.

Our values give us each a responsibility within our society. The final goal is to be a "good citizen". How do we achieve that goal of "good citizenship?" We all must become leaders within our little corner of society. The most humble amongst us has the same leadership responsibility as the most exalted. This is what I told that young Hospital Corpsman. As a HN (E-3), his leadership responsibilities were no different than the Admiral who was in command of the hospital. Within his little corner of the "Navy world", he had an equal responsibility to lead as the Admiral does for the entire hospital. Be responsible.

We see a lack of personal responsibility all the time. Everyone has an excuse. Everyone has a reason why they failed to do something. Take a look at Daytime Television. The talk shows are jammed with people who don't know who the fathers of their multiple children are. If they do know, the father has a reason why he has failed to provide for those children and further why he continues to inseminate various women with no regard for the consequences. Further, he is proud of his actions. A total lack of responsibility or values is evident.

At what point does personal responsibility become a factor in one's life? For most, it begins at a young age. My little granddaughter is already at the age where if she misbehaves she receives a negative consequence and must take the responsibility for what she has done. If not, she's right back in that "time out" chair. So, if my granddaughter can learn responsibility at the age of 17 months, why can't a 21 year old?

So many people think that as soon as they get old enough to leave home or wander the streets, the lessons taught to them by their families are voided. We need to get away from all the political correctness and get back to the basic principles of civilized society. Everyone needs to once again be responsible for their actions.

Before any of my liberal friends get up in arms, I am not talking some "Tea Party" family/American values silliness.  I find it interesting that the people screaming the loudest for a return to "American Values" are the first ones to break those values. I'm not talking about some unrealistic, public stance. I'm talking about a personal and private commitment between yourself and your conscience. No one else need know. Your actions will speak of your character and your values.

It's a simple promise. To try your best to do your best and do the right thing, every time; without regard for recognition or reward. That's the first step. If everyone tried to do that, we would be a lot further along as a civilized society.

OK, I could go on about this subject for hours but, I fear that I will get boring, preachy and repetitive. Did I include repetitive?

I just wanted to write down a few words that might give us all pause. Please have a good day. For all who sent me their good thoughts during my recent surgery, I thank you sincerely. You all always keep me humble.

As always...

In weather news...it's COLD!!

With the weather throughout most of the country seeing record lows, I thought the picture of frozen oranges was a good statement of how most of us are feeling today.

Fortunately, there are things that we can all do to get thorough this temperature anomaly. My friends from New England are probably thinking that the rest of the country is making a fuss for nothing but, unfortunately, many of us are not used to or prepared for these extreme temperatures.

There are a few things you can do to ensure that you and your family remain safe in extreme cold. One of the simplest is to block off the bottom of your outside doors. If you don't have a spare blanket or towel you can roll up and place by the door, use a coat. Many stores sell what look like long stuffed animals just for this purpose.

Block off unused rooms. There is no need to heat that room that Junior slept in while he was growing up now that he is away at college. Close the vents or lower the heat to the barest minimum in that "zone" of the home. It will serve two purposes: Saves money on heating costs and helps relieve stress on the furnace during extreme cold.

Make sure that you have some good heavy "throw" blankets. There's nothing like being snuggled under a nice comfy blanket to stay warm. It's even better with someone you love. It doesn't matter if that someone has 2 legs or 4.

Speaking of our 4 legged friends: Make sure you let your pets in the house during these extreme cold periods. If you are cold, they are cold. Your pet will appreciate it, believe me.

Keep a faucet dripping to prevent pipes from freezing. Pipes freeze and burst because the water is not moving. It only takes a drip to keep the water in the pipe moving. It may see like you are wasting water but, it sure beats paying a plumber to come out and repair a burst pipe or crawling around under the house yourself to braise the pipe yourself.

If you must go out in the cold, stay warm! The easiest way to do this is to wear layers of clothing. The best insulator is air. the small gaps between layers of clothing create a wonderful insulation against the frigid elements. Start from the skin out and layer, layer, layer.

Mittens are better than gloves for keeping your hands warm. The reason is simple. Move body heat from 5 fingers at a time rather than just 1 finger in a glove separately.

Wear a knit hat. Pull it down to cover you head. Use a scarf to cover the rest of your head. A good ski mask works well also. Fully one third of your body head can escape from an uncovered head.

If you must warm up your vehicle, do NOT sit in it for any extended length of time while it idles parked. Contrary to popular belief, most cars are not vapor tight and carbon monoxide will kill you. So, the car may be warm but your body won't be if you are no longer with us. Let the car warm up while you are in the house. If you must, lock it if you feel it may get stolen. Keep an eye on it from inside the house.

Do not... I repeat, do NOT use your kitchen oven or stove as an extra heat source.  That is not what the oven/stove was designed to do and it is dangerous on many levels. So please, just don't do it.

I hope my little safety tips have helped. If you have any, leave a comment. To all of you, I only ask that you stay safe and stay warm.

As Always...

Sometimes, the smartest children are kind of slow...

I don't know if I have said this here before but, I am a big Bill Cosby fan. I've listened to and watched "The Coz" since the 1960's. I still laugh when I think of him doing his impression of Noah, speaking to the Lord in modern times about the Ark.

I have the complete collection of "The Cosby Show" on DVD and it's available on Netflix as well. When I got the DVDs, I was watching the programs with my youngest daughter. We were laughing and enjoying the shows when all of a sudden she turns to me and says: "You learned to be a parent from watching The Cosby Show!"

I laughed and finally admitted that she may have hit upon something. But, she is not completely correct. You see, Cosby always took a common sense approach to raising children. It seems to me that he had the same rules that I had in my house.

The rules were not the same because we copied each other.   On the contrary, they were the same because they made sense. It's true that Mr. Cosby and I have a lot in common. We are both very charming and outgoing. We have a zest for life. We are both Navy Trained. But, most importantly, we believe in rules.

We believe that everyone should live by a set of rules and be held to account for their actions. If you fall short of the rule, there is a consequence. Watch his various programs, they all have the same message. Every time one of his children in the program ran afoul of the rules, there was a consequence.

The consequence was not cruel or violent. It was usually measured against the offense. It was tempered with love  and it was effective. Most of all, he was consistent.

There was no permissiveness on the show. All the characters had expectations placed upon them and were required to live up to those expectations. Nothing wrong there. There was a mutual respect in the home. Although children argued and and complained about each other, in the end; problems were resolved and it was clear that everyone cared.

These are not new ideas and I tried to explain to my daughter that; I didn't need Mr. Cosby to show them to me. Maybe he learned to be a parent from me!

Actually, we both have that same common sense that doesn't seem to be so very common any more. Problems in a family are over thought and made more difficult than they have to be. We worry about the long term affects of disciplining a child or weather we are forcing a child to make a choice baed on society's idea of what a particular child's role "should" be.

I saw a young mother and father debate the merits of buying their 18 month old daughter a baby doll. They debated for 20 minutes. It seems that one parent was concerned that they would be forcing the child into the role of a "mommy" wether she liked it or not. When I was asked my opinion, my response was simple. "Does she want the dolly?" I asked. If she wants the dolly, get it for her. If she wants an M-16, get that.

Why make things harder than they need to be. Be consistent and firm. Be fair. Don't be violent. Temper each encounter with a child with the love that you feel for that child. Guess what... You can't go wrong.

My wife told me that my granddaughter's newest trick is to climb up on the chairs to her little table and then climb on the table. She knows this is not allowed. If she stands up on the chair and sees an adult looking, she will sit down, quickly. My response is simple. It's time for "Time out". Every single time she does it, give her a time out. Even if she sits down when you catch her. The only reason she is sitting down is because you caught her. She's guilty of the infraction. Time out!!

Guess what! She will learn real fast that this is unacceptable and she will stop. I'd solve that problem within 3 days. Children need to know that parents are serious. But, I can't say anything because I have not been asked. I can vent here because my oldest daughter and her husband do not read my blog. If they do happen to read this and I have offended them: sorry about that. Love you bunches.

The hardest part of being a parent is saying "NO". Children are going to cry and whine and stomp their feet. They will scream and yell and throw tantrums like there is no tomorrow. But, in the end it is the responsibility of the adults to prepare the child for the real world. In the real world, we do not always get what we want. Crying about it is not acceptable.

You are allowed to come to Mom and Dad's and cry on our shoulder. As long as Mom and Dad are alive, our children are just that, our children and we will be there to pick up the pieces but, it is our children whom we have said No to and prepared for life who must go out and live that life. Unfortunately, we can not do that for them.

If we do not start at the beginning and raise our children right; with common sense approaches to simple problems and consistent expectations, we will have failed as parents in our primary task of  preparing our children for life.

So, to my youngest daughter: I did not learn to raise children by watching "The Cosby Show." Watching it showed that there are other people out there who think along the same lines as I do. Besides, Bill Cosby is an amazing talent.

As Always...

I guess I'll start the New Year off with a rant...

First, let me say that I don't care what the Hollywood set is doing, saying, wearing or looking like. If Oprah weighs in at 100 or 300 lbs, it makes no difference to me. I don't buy tabloids and don't normally read the tabloid news. But, it is out there and it's unavoidable.

The problem is, a lot of people do read the tabloid news and they do care what the stars are wearing, doing and weighing. Above; you will find a picture of the actress Alyssa Milano. You may (or not) remember her from the comedy "Who's the Boss". She grew up on American television. Well, now she is 41 and it seems she just had a baby. Congratulations to her.

I don't know much else about her but, I saw a news item on Yahoo this morning that said a comedian had made fun of her weight and she had responded. I don't know if all this was planned by publicists or not. I don't care. What I do care about has more to do with our culture than the silly goings on in Hollywood. As you can see by the picture, the woman looks just fine. Certainly she is in excellent physical shape. When the comedian in question makes a "fat" joke and the "star" responds, it sends a message to the rest of the country. No matter what her response is, it brings her weight into issue and in the minds of many it validates the comedian's idea that she is "fat." This puts forward an unrealistic image of acceptable body image to the rest of us and contributes to the problem of eating disorders in this country.

There was a recent news story about forcing the toy companies to make a "fat" Barbie doll. All in the name of political correctness and fairness. The theory being that the obese doll would make the heavier girls feel better about themselves. I'm not really worried about that. It's the 15 + year old women I am worried about. They are the ones who see these magazines and watch programs like Access Hollywood and the like; which publicize this unrealistic image of perfection.

The media also puts forth the message that once attained, the perfect image must be maintained. This too is nearly an impossible task and has a disastrous effect on the self-image of the population.

We have to stop expecting to attain the magic, perfect body instantly. Programs like "The Biggest Looser" are horrible for your health. It promotes fast intensive weight loss which in most cases won't last. It gives the average person an unrealistic expectation and sets them up for failure and a destructive weight gain.

Instead of making an insulting comment about Alyssa Milano's weight, the comedian in question would have been better served to start with something like "Wow! Look at Alyssa Milano, she looks pretty darn good for a woman who just had a baby!" Make the jokes after that, if you must.

The key to weight loss is education and a supervised program of exercise and nutrition. When I was in Cardiac Rehab last year, I learned so much about how we process calories and how to eat smart. I also learned about the tricks food companies use to get you to buy and how you must, must, must read those labels carefully.

It's the small changes that will bring large dividends in the end. Remember, it's not a diet, it's a life.

By the way, I think Ms. Milano looks just fine...

As Always...

New Year tradition

New Year's Eve means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. I had a friend who would get roaring drunk on New Years day, every year. It was the only day of the year he would drink. Otherwise, this guy was perfectly normal. To me this sounds strange, but it was normal for my friend.

I used to go out and have my fun on New Year's eve. But, eventually, it just got boring to do that. For many years now, my wife and I stay home. It's just easier. We have a nice evening watching a movie and eating little snacks. I can't make it to midnight any longer but, a nice time is had by all anyway.

Many years ago, my oldest daughter asked and then begged if she could stay up for the New Year. She was 12 and had never stayed up that late. When asked why she wanted to stay up, my daughter informed me that she wanted to see what the big deal was all about. To be honest, so did I. So, my wife and I gave the child permission to stay up to see the new year in.

You would have thought we had given the child permission to drive the car, while smoking cigarettes, she was so excited. For days, all we heard about was that she was going to stay up for the new year. Finally, the evening arrives. She stays up and watches movies with us. She gets to snack with us. Around 2230 (That's 10:30 pm for those who can't tell 24 hour time) she is starting to get restless. I can see those eyelids getting heavy. At one point, she asked if it was going to be soon. I don't know what "it" was but, I told her yes.

Finally the moment was nearly at hand. 1 minute to midnight! We wake our daughter up. Yes, she had dozed off. We count down with the crowd on the television 3, 2, 1...0!!! My daughter looks around at us. A look of confusion comes across her face. She runs to the back terrace sliding door and moves the curtain aside. After an intense stare, her shoulders slump and her head droops forward in disappointment. She turns around and looks at us and says: "Is that it?"

Of course, my wife and I break into laughter. I motion for my little girl to come over to me. She is very upset. I give her hugs and say: "Yes. What did you expect? Fireworks?"

My daughter looked at me and informed me that this was a big rip off and she had no idea what the big deal was. Of course, this got me laughing all over again. I guess my little one thought something special happened at midnight at the change of year and there would be some visible sign.

After giving her Mother and me a kiss goodnight, our daughter went off to bed mumbling something about a "rip-off" . I hope her New Year's celebration with her husband was more exciting than what we provided those many years ago. I imagine that to a 12 year old, it really was a let down.

Our celebration consists of time with our children who still live at home. We had lots of home made finger foods for dinner and several movies. As usual, I did not stay up. My wife informs me that she came in and gave me hugs and kisses at the stroke of midnight. I don't remember anything which is actually a good sign. It means that I slept well through the night.

When I awoke on New Year's day, I did give my dear wife hugs and kisses. We had a nice day of watching movies with the kids. Dinner consisted of leftovers. In a way, sort of appropriate I think. Get rid of the remnants of the old year and make room for the new. The leftovers were yummy.

My first business day of the new year was spent at the Naval Hospital doing pre-operative things for my throat surgery on the 10th. Hopefully the good Navy doctors will be successful in repairing my paralyzed vocal cord and I will be able to speak above a whisper. Well, that's the plan anyway.

If they are not successful, I will make due with what I have. It's not all that bad, not being able to raise one's voice. I do miss singing though. Ah, well... One thing at a time.

I hope you all had a wonderful new year's celebration. If you find yourselves in the cold climates, please stay warm. May you all stay safe as well as those you love in the new year. As ever, please remember those serving in uniform both near and far. May they all come home safely in 2014.

As Always...