I always find it interesting how even the most sensible of people seem to fall off the deep end simply to protect their own ego.
We all know that person who must be right all the time and is willing to argue when there is no need to do so, just to prove the unnecessary point. Further, we all know that person who is so stubborn that they refuse to ask for assistance even when the help is readily available and free of charge of any sort.
Before we get any further along here, let me admit freely that I myself have been guilty of these transgressions at some time during my travels. I hope that I have reached an age where I have stopped allowing my ego to dictate my every action.
A certain male of my acquaintance was having problems with his fancy new iPhone. The youngster came into my living room and with no regard for the fact that I appeared to be busy, began complaining that his fancy new phone was not working. My response; as the resident computer person was simple. "Give me the phone." I said.
Well, you would have thought that I had asked they young man to surgically remove an important organ without the benefit of anesthesia. I received a resounding "NO!" in reply. Furthermore, I was lectured on the fact that he could fix his phone himself and did not need nor did he want my help!
Pardon me. I got out of the way of the raging male ego that had attempted to trample me and let the youngster carry on. As a matter of fact, I told him to "Carry On!" Preferably, out of my sight. Less than 5 minutes later, the current problem youth had returned.
With fancy iPhone in hand, he asked if I would look at the phone and if possible, fix it. Now, my friends; I could have reacted in several ways, most beginning with laughter but, I chose to be polite. I was still busy and my son (Yes, the cause of my mounting cranial pain was my son.) was unconcerned that I was indeed busy with a project that did not involve him.
I asked why he did not just let me fix the phone 5 minutes ago when this all started and I received an angry reply about how he wanted to do it himself. I pointed out that he was not doing it himself, I was and it would have been simpler if he had given me the phone and I would have shown him how to fix it. My child of 26 years was unimpressed. I asked for the phone and the charging cord.
He gave me the phone and wanted to know why I needed the cord. I told him that if he watched me he would learn how and why. Giving me the power/data cord, he promptly walked away to sit on the couch, across the room.
After seeing that my computer was recognizing the device, but seeing that the problem did not clear when connected to the computer, I performed a restart of the phone. The problem was cleared. The fix took all of 2 minutes and my son never learned how to do it because he was across the room. So much for doing it himself, next time.
I explained what I had done and can only hope that he gets it. Not my phone. He was all about fixing the phone himself and I can understand that. But he didn't have to get all bent out of shape when I asked to help him out. When he finally did ask for help, he didn't even hang around to see what steps I took to 1. Determine the problem. 2. Restore the device to working order.
I really don't know if I was ever that hard headed. I hope not. but the thing to remember is this: There is no shame in asking for help, especially from someone who cares about you. Most people will offer help without judgement.
We all need help now and again. Even I must admit that there may be one or two things about this world that I might not know all about. I have been known to ask for help more often than I can remember. No shame involved.
Our egos are funny things. They drive us to do some strange things but, in many cases, we don't need to exercise our egos. As adults I would hope that we have grown beyond the schoolyard requirement to be the biggest and strongest. I fear that is not the case.
My youngest daughter spend a few months in New Jersey this summer/fall. She was "visiting" my sister and her partner. During this visit, my sister made it clear that she did not like my daughter talking to me on the phone. When my daughter would speak to me on the phone, my sister and her partner wanted to know the verbatim details of the conversation in order to "analyze" what my meaning was.
Regular readers of this blog already know that I do not speak in codes. I say what I mean in plain, simple english. I usually leave little room for interpretation or confusion of MY meaning or intent. My sister was allowing her personal feelings and her ego to color her actions and distort innocent conversation between a father and daughter. Just because my sister had unresolved issues with her father doesn't necessarily mean that my daughter has the same problem. Ego, once again.
You see, the need to be right all the time can be very damaging to all sorts of relationships. Don't let your ego get in the way of what is important in your life.
Think about it this way...There's a reason that pride is a sin.
As Always...
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