Two years ago today, my older brother, Joseph Michael (Mickey) died. He was just 21 days past his 57th birthday. That being said, I have to be honest with you. He died before his time, due to his own choices. He succumbed to Alcoholism.
His battle with drink started early in life. He would drink to excess when we were teenagers together. But, as he got older, things got worse for him. I'm sure the Psychiatrists/Psychologists/Counsellors could give me all sorts of reasons for my brother's addiction and self destructive behavior. I'm not really interested in hearing about it. He didn't care enough about the people who cared about him to get help. Help was available. It was offered. It was all but thrown at him.
Mickey used to call me every day. Sometimes, we would talk about his drinking. He would say "I'm a drunk. So what? I'm only hurting myself." Well, to the short sighted, that might seem true. If we think about it, we realize that it's not. It was very painful to watch my brother decline over the years.
Mickey was a very intelligent person in his younger days. He was a wiz at math. Higher math held no mystery to him. He was a Mechanic by trade. He worked professionally on "Big Rig" trucks. He also loved being the "Shade tree mechanic". If I had car trouble, Mickey could fix it over the phone. It was great to watch. I know the principles of the internal combustion engine, couldn't fix one.
When my brother was sober, he was fun to have around. He was generous.
He never did get over the abuses he suffered by the hands of our father. We just avoided that subject. It was a sure way to bring out his ire. Decades after our father's death, Mickey just couldn't let the past go.
My brother joined the Navy when he was 17. He got Mom to sign the required permission. He served 3 years of active duty, all at sea. He rose from Seaman Recruit to Yeomen Third Class (YN3/E-4) in less than 3 years. No small feat. He was given the responsibility as the ship's Legal Yeomen. He was very proud of his Naval Service, as am I.
Mickey was married in 1977. Divorced in the mid '80s. His son Joseph Jr. (Jay) is a wonderful young man. My nephew is successful and in a long term, happy relationship with his girlfriend. I talk to Jay regularly, just to touch base.
Folks, I don't know what can be done. But, I ask, if you know someone who has an addiction problem. Do what you can to get them help.
Especially today, I miss my brother, Mickey. Rest Well, Sailor.
Lord God,
by the power of your Word
you stilled the chaos of the primeval seas,
you made the raging waters of the Flood subside, and calmed the storm on the sea of Galilee.
As we commit the body (earthly remains)
of our brother to the deep,
grant him peace and tranquility
until that day when he
and all who believe in you
will be raised to the glory of new life
promised in the waters of baptism.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.*
*U.S. Navy, Catholic Burial at Sea Prayer
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