Haven't we all said that? The "What if" question is kind of eternal. Movies have been made about it, books written. We read and watch all, looking for the answer and the answer is simple. Our mothers told all of us the answer from a very young age.
Be yourself. Stop looking to impress anyone. Stop the worry.
If you want to start a relationship with someone, as kids, we fret over what to say and how to say it. Girls especially are taught to be concerned with wearing the right cloths and projecting the "right" image. Will this person or that other person like me? It's the life of a teenager. For boys, there is the same pressure, it just shows itself in a different way. If you are not athletic, you've got a real social problem as a male. I was in the band.
But the situation has gotten worse. If you are different in some way, as a child you become a target. Bullying now has raised the attention of the media to the point that many feel that it is somehow a new problem. Of course, we know now that it's' not. All of us were affected in some way by bullying. I read an article on line today about an 8 year old who asked Santa to please stop his sister from being bullied. That was the gift he wanted for this Christmas. How sad. Not that the child wanted to help his sister but that his sister's problem had evolved into such a monster that an 8 year old was willing to give up Christmas to make his sister's life better.
I think back. I was awkward socially. It's difficult growing up insecure and trying to project confidence. That is how I felt. If only I knew then, what I know now. There were a lot of actors growing up. There still are.
After raising 4 children, I found that most of the social problems that existed in my world as a kid, still remain in the world of kids today. The biggest difference is how the kids deal with the problems.
I don't know how many times I advised my children to just be themselves. Bad news doesn't get better with age. If you have something on your mind, spit it out. If necessary, be direct.
I suppose I am just saying, be honest with yourself. Be who you are and be happy in your own skin. We have enough pressure in our lives, we don't have to add to that with self doubt.
We go through this life worried. My sister once told me something about worry that has stuck with me since. Worry is useless. When you worry about something, you spend all this energy. If what you were concerned about happens, all that energy didn't change anything. If it doesn't happen, you wasted that energy for nothing also. You can't win when it comes to worry.
If I had only understood that as a kid. So, don't worry. Dive in and experience life. There will be disappointments. I can promise there will be failures. Go ahead anyway. Take all the information you have on the subject and make the best decision you can with what you have to work with. You may be surprised with the result.
It's been a year now, since I've had a cigarette. I'm really proud of myself. Now, as an adult, I know I should not have smoked. I thought I'd fit in with or impress my brother and his friends. I should not have worried about wether they liked me. But, I did what I did. It's over with now. I'm glad I reached my goal and stopped. No regrets. Just thinking...
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