First, let me say; I am not a negative person. I do not constantly look for the down side to all situations. As a matter of fact, I am known in some circles as a pretty happy guy. You might even classify me as a joker. I have to try and keep a positive attitude, I've been in real pain for over a year. If I let it get the best of me, I'm pretty much screwed. So, I make light in many situations. That doesn't mean that I am not a serious person. Most of my friends call me for my opinions and input into various serious situations.
That all being said, let's continue with my daughter's phone call. The phrase "Do something positive today." bothered me. This seemed like a sign of conditioned thinking to me. The phrase itself made no sense. In the grand scheme of things, getting out of bed in the morning is a positive action. For many, taking that morning shower is a positive step. So, I was curious about the phrase when my daughter used.
Well, the trip to New Jersey ended. My youngest daughter came home and I have had a chance to talk to her. I've gleaned some interesting information. The request to "do something positive" was the result of the conditioning in the home of my sister. It seems that my sister and her partner believe that only positive messages should be allowed to permeate the shield they have placed around their children.
Video games are strictly monitored. Media is blocked. The internet is monitored and controlled. Only positive messages are permitted. Conversation is molded so as to be of a positive nature at all times. There will be no negative input to this utopian atmosphere at all costs.
Even my daughter was to be indoctrinated. At 24, she is a college graduate and is well aware of the artificial nature of the environment she found herself in. Eventually, she was cast out of my sister's home because, in essence, she failed in the assimilation.
What my family in New Jersey and other butterfly worshipers fail to realize is simple. Their attempts to be all positive all the time, is stifling all those things we want our children to be. If you create an artificial environment, you limit a person's ability to express themselves. Even negatives can be expressed in an acceptable way. Put another way: Without the negative you can not have positive.
Don't get me wrong. I am not advocating children being allowed to watch scenes of all murder and mayhem all the time. Everything, after all; in moderation. But, you have to expose children to all facets of life. Discuss with them, the good as well as the more distasteful. Be a parent. It takes participation, not indoctrination.
Rather than blocking most of the television stations, let the children watch. Watch with them and comment on what you see as a family. Discuss what your objections may be and let your children make their case as the why they should be allowed to view the previously objectionable material. But blocking entire channels makes no sense to me. In the long run, forbidding something only makes it appear more desirable to those who have been forbidden.
May I put the problem in a Biblical context for a moment? The Lord created Man. Placed him in the "Garden" and gave him Woman. This was paradise. Everything was positive. Everything except the one tree in the center of the "Garden". Thou shalt not eat of the tree of knowledge. But, of course we all know that Eve was tempted and ate from the tree and convinced Adam to do the same. The Lord was angry at the pair and cast them from Paradise. On the surface this would seem like a bad thing. But, we don't like everything being provided for us. As a species, we enjoy working and accomplishing. All things considered, we've done pretty well outside of the "Garden".
My children were exposed to all manner of entertainment options. If I objected, we discussed it. It was only after discussion that something was disallowed. I don't recall blocking anything, come to think of it.
Look at it another way. Would you cook with only one seasoning? What would it be? Salt? Just pepper? Perhaps only garlic. I like garlic in my food. But only garlic, all the time? Wouldn't that get old ? Wouldn't food become one dimensional ?
If we teach our children that life is only positive by exposing them to only the fields of flowers and butterflies, we are not preparing them for the realities of the real world. That is, after all; our function. I've met people who demand that their world be only positive influences. They are one step above the blithering idiots of the world. They are not able to deal with the world on it's own terms. Guess what folks, that is the beginning of mental illness. Certainly it is emotional maladjustment.
Take note of the picture of the field of flowers above. There are clouds in the distance. This is a good metaphor for life. Most of the time, it is very pleasant but occasionally, storms arise. You have to be able to deal with them. Hiding one's head in the sand and pretending that the storms don't exist is just foolhardy. The storm is still going to come. You'd better be ready.
How can a person be expected to deal with the world on it's own terms when he or she has only been exposed to "Positive" influences? What happens when they are confronted with a crime or other violent act? These things do indeed happen. After all, the flip side of life is death.
There is a place for positive messages in life, of course. In a perfect world, I would love the idea that my children would never be exposed to any negative influences. But, unfortunately, that is just not the reality of life.
So, we come to my point. Life is a bounty. There is a cornucopia of experiences and choices. Some are positive and some, well, not so much. In order to be a well rounded and balanced individual, you have to be exposed to all that life has to offer. The "good" as well as the "bad". So, experience life. Dive into the artist's pallet of color that is experience in life. Each color you touch will enhance your experience and thus your understanding of this great adventure we call a life time. You can overcome any adversity but you must experience life in order to do that. If all you have is the positive to draw upon, adversity will come to you as an enemy rather than a challenge. It's the challenges in life that make it interesting.
As always...
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