I know of very few, if any people who, started their lives, set a course and struck out on that course, continued exactly as planned and reached their goals. Life is not that smooth or easy.
Here's an example. My father used to delight in telling this story. When he was a young man, his father wanted him to "find himself". The plan was, my father would take a cruise and upon his return, he would settle down and make his way in the world. The story goes that he, reached Hoboken, New Jersey, for some reason he got off the boat in Hoboken and stayed in the United States. He remained in the States for the rest of his life. He returned to Portugal for visits. He lived his life in America, as an American. I doubt very much that this was the plan of either my father or grandfather when the boat sailed from Lisbon.
On the other hand, if my father had gotten off the boat in Hoboken and after a time, decided that things were not working as he thought they might, I am sure he had the option to return to Lisbon and his father. He could have continued his life there. No harm done. Options; the key to life.
My oldest daughter wanted to be a United States Marine. When she enlisted in 2001, she would have signed up for 20 years, if she had been given that option. She completed Recruit training and was injured. She exacerbated that injury at combat training and was eventually discharged due to her medical condition. Oh NO! Was her life over because her original plan did not work out? No. Not at all. She went to plan B. She came home, recovered, found a job and a different life. She is now married to a great man and has a wonderful daughter. Oh, she's still working at a responsible position outside the home too.
My point is, she was able to come home and work another plan for her life. It all works out. Second and third chances to succeed are common in every day life. Just look around.
Even in sports, you have second and third chances. If it wasn't for second and third chances, a batter would get one pitch. Swing and hit or strike out with that one pitch. The team gets one at bat for each player and the game is over. Better yet, each team could have only one batter. No substitutions. No second chances. Baseball would be a lot faster of a game.
In football, each team gets 4 chances to go 10 yards. Well, if life didn't give you second chances, it's a one shot deal to score. Game over! Life would be pretty short and very unrewarding if it worked that way.
It is part of the natural order of things that children leave home and many return. They return sometimes to regroup. They need time to set a new plan in place in order to get on with their lives. But get on with their lives, they eventually do.
Sometimes, they return home because of circumstances beyond their control. That's OK too. Parents provide a place of safety and security, usually. Children of all ages are welcome.
There is no failure if you try. Plans fail all the time. The only failure is not trying in the first place. Some birds take more than one attempt at flying before they get it right. They are still welcomed back into the nest.
I think the goal as a parent is to make sure our children always know that we will be there to "have their back", whenever they need us, at whatever age that may be. No age limit set.
As always...
No comments:
Post a Comment