The trick to dealing with life is to not let that strife "get you down". Yes, it's OK to feel bad for a little while when things go bad but, you really should not let something tear your day apart; especially if you can fix the issue.
What I am saying is simply this: Don't allow yourself to become a "Professional Victim".
Let me explain. You are minding your own business and there is a knock at the door. You answer and it's a man asking for the keys to your car. Repo Man has arrived. You act shocked and begin to argue with the poor man who is just doing his job. Eventually, you give up the keys and the car goes off into the western sun. As you tearfully wave goodbye to your trusty steed, you think of the horrible hand life has dealt you.
Why do you feel life has dealt you a bad hand? Did you sign the loan papers? Did you not know what the car expense was going to be? You've been paying for 2 years. You should know by now. Finally, you knew this day would come. You knew you had not paid the car note for 4 months. The caller ID on your phone(s) is filled with the bank calling to advise you that you need to pay or make an arrangement. Why are you surprised that the car has been repossessed? Secondly, Why are you blaming "Life"?
It's always the fault of the mysterious "They". I hear it all the time. "They screwed me over." or "Why can't they give me another chance?" or the big one: "This is so UNFAIR."
Let's talk plain english here. Who are "They"? Did "they" sign the papers thus creating the obligation? How exactly did the bank "screw" you? They make money by lending money. If you don't pay the bank, they don't make money and this is bad for business. It's a business deal, no more, no less. They didn't screw you at all. In fact, you agreed to this. It states very clearly in the loan agreement that if you don't pay, the lender has the right to repossess the vehicle without notice. Finally, how is it unfair? As I just stated, you agreed to this.
Professional victims expect special treatment. What they don't understand is, in most cases; they have already received that special treatment. They've already gotten that break. It's not a second chance they were asking for, they wanted a 10th chance. They forgot to mention the first 9. That's unfair!
We've all gotten extra chances. Things happen all the time that make it difficult or impossible to pay a bill or meet some other obligation. The thing to do is not hide from the problem. You have to face the problem head on and deal with it. Unlike fine wine or Scotch whisky, problems do not improve with age.
If you can't make that car payment, call the bank. Most lending institutions will make an arrangement with you. The reason is simple. Banks and finance companies do not make money by repossessing property. They don't want your vehicle. They want you to keep it and make the payments.
The car story is just one example of how victims act. I'm sure you can think of more.
If you think your life has hit the skids, talk to some friends or family members. Trust me. Everyone has problems and after listening to a friend or family member, you may find that what you thought was a calamity in your life was flowers and butterflies compared to what's going on in your brother-in-law's life.
We have to plan for the hard times. I used to use the Navy method. Train for the worst and when it doesn't happen, it's OK. You were ready anyway.
I always think of my time on the destroyer that was home ported in Philadelphia, PA. We had to stand at our stations for 6 hours every time we left home port or came home. That's how it was going up and down the Delaware river. One day the "Pilot" came aboard and into the pilot house (Bridge) and he shook his head and kind of laughed. We in the Navy were prepared for battle. There were no less than 20 people at various stations on the bridge. The pilot said: "On a civilian ship, there are only 2 or 3 people on the bridge." We all laughed and the Captain said: "Well, this is the Navy way. We have to be ready for battle!"
I never forgot that. Plan for the worst and be happy when the best happens.
If you plan ahead, you cut your chances of being a victim down quite a bit. But, you have to be willing to participate in life. You have to take action. You can't let others take care of things for you.
I've got problems. We all do. I try not to be a victim. Last year, I had open heart surgery. The last time I went to the doctor, she was thrilled with my progress and told me so. She said that most people don't follow the plan after surgery. They figure that the surgery was the answer to all their problems. Well, that nasty life style got them into trouble the first time. Don't they think that it will do it again? These same people are the ones with the family that is surprised when the non-compliant patient dies 2 years after the "Life Saving" surgery. The family asks the doctor "What went wrong?"
Nothing went wrong. Your loved one didn't follow the program! Quadruple bypass surgery and he never exercised, didn't attempt to lose weight. His blood sugar was out of control and he ate triple supreme pizza 3 times a week. He never saw a steak he didn't like and he couldn't drive past a Dairy Queen!
But of course, the doctor just looks sad for the family and says that these things happen sometimes. So sorry for your loss. It all could have been avoided.
I could go on with victim stories but, I think you all get the idea. Don't be a victim and don't let your family and friends suck the fun of life out of you by being victims either. Take control of your life and have fun. Don't be sad. There is always someone else having a harder time than you.
This has been a special bonus edition of my blog. I hope you enjoyed it.
As always...
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