Humor in Uniform

So many people think that those in uniform have little or no sense of humor. My sister was always amazed if my Father, Brother or I would tell a funny story about our time in the Navy. I guess she thinks that we "Trained Killers" should be serious all the time. I once told her that even the trained killer has to blow off some steam sometimes or he would become ineffective.

My service Mom friends will attest  to the fact that their sons and daughters who serve or have  served do in fact, have a well honed sense of humor. Humor is how we cope with stress and relieve boredom. Just like in Civilian life, things would get dull very quickly if we didn't know how to get a laugh. More importantly, we have to be able to laugh at ourselves. Civilians have a sense of humor, why can't the military?

I've got an untold number of funny stories, starting from military school and moving right on through my career in the Navy. Every once in a while, I tell one that my wife of 32 years has not heard. She always asks: "How come I haven't heard this before?" I don't know, but if you'd listen now, you will get a good laugh.

I write about this subject today because, I was on line and found a funny story on a web site that I thought was worth sharing. This seemed like a good way to incorporate it into a blog.

"While having a slow morning during one of our weekend drills at my Army Reserve unit a fellow soldier and I were just sitting in the hallway next to the unit arms room. Nothing was going on until our Platoon Sergeant came by and of course had to come up with something for us to do, he yelled at the armorer “hey you got a .50??” (.50 cal MG he wanted us to break down and clean). As he was waiting on the armorer he asked my buddy, a new Private, “can you break down a fifty?”..the Private proceeded to start going through his pockets and then replied “sorry Sergeant but I don’t have any money on me”….the look on our Platoon Sergeant’s face was priceless, he just shook his head and walked away."*

That's just funny.

One quiet Sunday night at the Pentagon, my cohorts and I had the communications watch. It was a very slow night. There  really wasn't much to do. Even 'Field Day" was complete. As I walked around the Communications center, ensuring everything was squared away, I found a working jacket in the corner, on the deck. Anyone who knows me knows I hate "Gear Adrift". (That's anything not put in it's proper place.) I imagine my penchant for gear adrift stems from my years in Military school (See yesterday's blog). 

I looked at the name on the jacket and sure enough, it was the coat of a sailor who had been told many times to put his belongings were they belonged! We are not a bunch of "Lubberly" Army pukes, who can put there things any place they like. We are Sailors and we stow things away properly! Well, I guess this hapless Sailor failed to receive the memo, again. 

I love a good prank and don't mind using a joke as a learning tool. So, I took the offending jacket and a plastic bag over to the deep sink. I soaked the jacket in water and balled the wet mass up and shoved it in the bag. Closing the plastic bag as tightly as I could, I now had a soaking wet ball. I placed the whole mess into the freezer we had in the Communications Center break area. It should be nice and hard by 0700 (about 8 hours from now.)

Sure enough, as the hour of our relief approached, the offending Sailor began looking for his jacket. One of  he problems with not putting something away where it belongs is, you have a tendency to forget where you "dropped" it. Eventually, our hero asked for help. "Has anyone seen my work Jacket?"

Not only was there a resounding NO in reply; assorted smart remarks began to echo throughout the room;  "Don't you have to work to have a work Jacket?", "What does it look like?" (It's a uniform item, they all look the same.) on and on the wise remarks came as our Slovenly Sailor got more frustrated.

Finally, my supervisor told me that enough was enough. I went to the freezer and pulled the solid ice ball with the working jacket core out of the freezer. I announced "Hey, is this your jacket?" Upon seeing the mass of ice, the entire room burst into laughter. The owner of the coat was not amused. He decided he was going to see the Chief.

Big mistake. After hearing the hapless Sailor's story, the Chief told him he was lucky all we did was freeze  the coat. (The chief didn't care that it was 30 degrees outside and the kid didn't have a warm coat.)

Needless to say, we never had to pick up after that guy again.

The above prank may sound cruel but, I can assure you; on a slow Sunday night, fighting boredom, it was a hoot!

Find the humor in your daily life. It keeps things interesting and reduces stress. A good laugh is good for your health too.

Cheers!

As Always...


 * Story taken from web site "MyServicePride.com"